Friday was World AIDS Day. The statistics are devastating: An estimated 40 million people worldwide are HIV-positive; last year alone 2.8 million people died of AIDS-related illnesses and about 4.1 million contracted the virus.

It is not all doom and gloom; there have been major advances in the treatment of the disease so that today someone who finds out they are HIV— positive can expect an almost normal life expectancy. Antiretroviral drugs are now cheaper and better: One dollar a day for two pills that keep you well. Except that for millions of people in sub-Saharan Africa that one dollar a day is more than they earn. The vast majority of those 2.8 million who died last year — 570 000 of them children — could have been saved. They died not so much of AIDS-related illnesses as of the lethal combination of poverty and disease.

I find myself heart-broken thinking of all those deaths, of all that suffering. I ask myself one simple question: When did I last donate money or time to an AIDS charity? The answer shocks me to my very core: Never. Somehow when I decide which charities to support, AIDS is never at the top of my list. Nor have I ever worn a red ribbon. Ah but I don’t like to wear symbols, be they white rubber wrist-bands, red poppies or yellow ribbons. I just don’t like wearing good causes as labels, it’s far too easy, too shallow. Yet I have occasionally worn a pink ribbon. Why the pink breast cancer awareness ribbon and not the red AIDS awareness ribbon?

Partly it is selfishness. I support cancer charities almost automatically. If someone accosts me in the street with a collecting tin for a cancer charity, they are guaranteed to get my change. If a shop has a stand of ribbons, badges, plastic flowers or anything else which you wear on your lapel to show your support for cancer victims, you can bet I’ll pay up. And I come across them often, whereas I don’t see the red ribbon of AIDS awareness on sale in so many outlets I visit. My support for cancer charities is almost a reflex action because it has touched my family. I also know the statistics. It is a disease that is likely to touch every family I know in some shape or form. Hence why my support is a little selfish: I give it priority because it affects me or those I love directly.

When I ask around, I find I am not alone in keeping HIV/AIDS charities at the bottom of my worthiness list. In Britain, the Charities Aid Foundation publish an annual list ranking the causes in terms of how willing people are to support them. Of the 29 causes on the list, HIV/AIDS regularly came 25th until last year when it jumped up to 15th. When I speak to people about their reluctance to give priority to HIV/AIDS as a cause, two main themes emerge. The first is a lack of sympathy for a disease that is often transmitted sexually and that for many is still associated with homosexuality. The second is that it is seen as a preventable disease. “Surely we should give priority to a disease like cancer where the victim had no role in becoming ill” typifies this kind of thinking.

Lung cancer is largely due to smoking. Heart disease and diabetes are connected to obesity and diet. Lifestyle is a significant factor in many diseases, yet this does not make those who fall ill any less worthy of our compassion or help. There should be no room for moral judgment in how we view the sick. How someone became ill is of no importance. It is the fact that they are ill that makes them deserve our sympathy.

It is also wrong to label people who are HIV-positive as promiscuous or any other label which implies they have a nonconventional lifestyle. Even HIV testing is subject to social labeling. The American actress Scarlett Johansson recently shocked Hollywood by admitting that she has an HIV test twice a year. In her view this is part of being socially responsible but the reaction reveals how the social stigma surrounding HIV remains prevalent. Even Johansson felt the need to be defensive: “Contrary to popular belief, I am not promiscuous”, she stated firmly.

Those who preach abstinence as the only remedy are no doubt worthy and good but they also need a reality check. The truth is many people do have sex outside marriage. That is a fact. And even upstanding members of our community have been known to err. Humans are weak after all and that is something we must accept and include in our thinking. Ideals lead to absolutes which can sometimes stand in the way of disease prevention.

In Saudi Arabia today it is estimated that over 10,000 people are HIV-positive, a hefty rise from under 8,000 the previous year. What is more, this is quite possibly an underestimate since many who are HIV— positive are innocently unaware of it. It takes only one person in the chain to be HIV-positive for everyone else in the chain to be exposed to the virus. Think for instance of the uncomplaining wife at home whose husband on a foreign trip is tempted and in a moment of weakness does what he should not do. Never would she suspect that he could be exposing her to the virus. She could so easily be infected through normal conjugal relations and yet not be aware of it.

The truth is almost anyone can get infected with the HIV virus and we should suspend moral judgment when thinking of this pandemic. People who are battling this illness deserve nothing but our compassion and support. This is even more the case when we see how the bulk of this pandemic is affecting the poorest people on the planet. The country with the world’s highest HIV/AIDS rate is Swaziland. Over 50 percent of women aged 25-30 are HIV— positive. There are 70,000 orphans in a population of just one million. That is more than an emergency.

So next time I give money to charity, I will put AIDS/HIV toward the top of my list. Or I might choose a RED product such a Motorola RED phone. RED is a brand where companies such as Apple and Amex put out a line of products where a percentage of profits is donated to the Global Fund — an independent organization set up to fight AIDS, TB and malaria. Armani for instance donates 50 percent of profits from their RED line to the Global Fund whilst Amex donates 1 percent of your total spend. An easy and effortless way to support a good cause.