Inability to find a life partner a ‘grave’ concern for cemetery worker

This is not because there are any issues with him as a person, but because of the type of job he does — he’s the gatekeeper of a cemetery.
None of the parents of the women Abu Wisam has been interested in marrying feel comfortable with their daughters marrying a man who guards the dead. This has now forced Abu Wisam, as gatekeeper at Eve’s Cemetery in downtown Jeddah, to reluctantly think of getting another job.
Abu Wisam’s experience is not isolated. There are many others who do menial jobs and are in similar situations, and there are many who lead almost isolated lives because of the way wider society views their lines of work, Al-Watan newspaper reported.
“I inherited this job from my father who did the same job as I’m doing. My job is mainly to guard the cemetery and keep an eye on visitors,” said Abu Wisam, who was seated on a broken chair at the gate scrutinizing those walking by.
“Several families have turned down my marriage proposals simply because of what I do. Their daughters are afraid of marrying a guy who guards a cemetery. Anyhow, I’m determined to continue on with this job. I am unmindful of its consequences. I might not find a young woman who is ready to become my life partner,” he said.
Abdul Wahab Mannan washes bodies in Jeddah for a living. He considers his job as a service to mankind and a religious duty. “I have a wife and child, and value my marriage. My wife is fully satisfied with my job. She is, moreover, supportive of me on all occasions,” he said. Mannan said he is engaged in a profession that requires patience, skill and care. “This is a profession that warrants both physical and intellectual efforts because of the type of bodies that we end up handling,” he said, underlining the need for members of the public to change their attitude toward people who do jobs like his, as they are carrying out a huge service to society.
“I reject proposals from those engaged in menial jobs simply because they are unable to fulfill my requirements,” said Ghaada Murad, a university student. She added that she wants to marry someone who is understanding, and is able to fulfill her aspirations and desires.
Ahmad Al-Moabi, a member of the arbitrators’ committee at the Ministry of Justice, said every young woman dreams of marrying someone young who earns well and is capable of fulfilling their desires. “People with limited incomes are unable to satisfy their needs usually,” he said. He added that there are, however, some women who agree to marry men who do menial jobs and are happily married.
Al-Moabi said there are certain menial professions that are no longer looked down upon such as hair-cutting, butchery and storekeeping. “In the past, most people did not want to engage in such professions. But now, more and more people are taking up these jobs and earning large amounts of cash. These people are now more widely accepted in society and many women don’t mind marrying such men,” he said.
Saleh Al-Dobel, a prominent criminologist and member of the faculty at King Fahd Security Academy, said there are two types of low-grade jobs. “We have to distinguish between the jobs that are considered menial by a major section of society and those that evoke disgust among them. The first category includes professions such as being a carpenter, a blacksmith and a butcher. A large number of families do not want their children to take up such jobs even though people who have such jobs earn good money,” he said, attributing this to people’s tribal pride.
He added that many families do not want to marry their girls off to those engaged in such jobs. “This is mainly because they feel some of their relatives will boycott them due to tribal loyalties,” he said, adding that this genre of work is usually passed down from father to son.
Al-Dobel said the second category of jobs includes working as guards at cemeteries and grave diggers. “Men who do such jobs lead isolated lives. Most people worry about interacting with these people. It is therefore difficult for these men to get married,” he said, adding that there is a need for people to change their attitudes.