Role reversal: Now women harass men
Published: Mar 5, 2010 00:53 Updated: Mar 5, 2010 00:53
JEDDAH: For a moment, Ahmad thought he was a hero of romantic films from the 1970s. He was trying his best to enjoy these rare moments, as it was not common for a girl to flirt with a man.
Meanwhile, his imagination tried to envisage the anonymous Arab beauty who he was enjoying harmless yet flirtatious chats with online.
Yet hospital worker Ahmad is a married man, which adds to the dilemma of whether he is crossing a line or not.
“I do not want any trouble with my wife, who does not stop accusing me of infidelity even though I am innocent.”
Ahmad’s story began when he gave out his e-mail address to a number of his colleagues. He eventually received a list of requests asking him to add them through an online messaging program.
Eventually, he started an online friendship with one of his colleagues, who never revealed her identity. His efforts to find out who she was were fruitless. In time she started showering him with words of admiration.
For Ahmad, the situation seemed normal. She did not cross any lines until she started talking to him in a way that he considered to be innocent flirting, which to some extent also boosted his ego.
“However, the situation escalated to the point where I just had to know her real identity, especially when she began revealing details of my daily life. My suspicions were directed toward female colleagues at my workplace.”
Yet Ahmad’s investigations did not succeed in unveiling the woman’s identity, driving him to continue talking to her. She demanded his mobile phone number so she could listen to his voice.
He refused because of his wife and because he had a bad feeling that if he agreed it would lead to trouble. Yet the woman was not deterred and managed to obtain his number through other channels.
“Things took a turn for the worse. She started asking me to talk to her at night. She claimed her admiration had turned into a burning love,” he said.
Ahmad added that she had asked him to buy a new SIM card so he was able to talk to her alone.
“I refused because of my commitment to my family and my love for my wife and children.”
Ahmad said one of his male colleagues finally managed to uncover her identity. She was an employee at the pharmacy in the hospital.
“This caused her a lot of embarrassment in the workplace,” he said.
“We cannot talk much about such things because society often depicts women as the victims of harassment. We, the males, are always accused of being the harassers. Society would not believe that I have been harassed by a woman.”
However, the saying “engage your daughter before you do that for your son,” is also relevant in such cases, because it implies that looking for a husband is harder than looking for a wife.
This is what happened to Abdul Ilah Al-Aidarous, who is a translator. A woman offered her daughter to him after many telephone calls. She made a number of offers including the promise that she would only ask for a small dowry.
Al-Aidarous said the matter ended with him in providing translation services for her free of charge. He does not mind women harassing him. “On the contrary, we ask for this kind of flirtation as long as it is harmless,” he said.
Member of the Shoura Council Mazen Baleelah said a draft law on punishments for harassment would consider cases of men courting women and vice versa.
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