In Italy there is a popular saying that I might have already mentioned. It talks about “the discovery of warm water,” referring to a concept, already known for a long time, that now someone is trying to convey as new.
Today I want to present my own “discovery of warm water.” The concept is simply this: People tend to under-rate what they have and over-rate what they do not have. And this refers to absolutely “everything“! Although it is not the core of my topic of today, let us start by considering material possessions.
Very rarely, if ever, will you find someone who is totally contented with what they own and are able to fully enjoy it, forgetting about getting “more.” Once you have at your disposal everything necessary for you to lead a reasonably comfortable existence, why not just enjoy it and be grateful, and dedicate your extra time to more uplifting activities? Why is there always something that makes you dissatisfied, that — even in the best moments — ruins your mood?
What puzzles me is mainly the realization of how the majority of human beings are simply incapable of being happy, of leading a serene life. You might know someone who, although he (or she) is healthy, has a job and a loving family, yet he is troubled because the people he deals with are not exactly the way he wishes they were. This can be a problem, but not to the point of making the individual depressed, of leading him (or her) toward being negative, of making them lose enthusiasm in the plans they had previously enthusiastically made.
You might also know someone who, in spite of the many positive features in their life, cannot help noticing every tiny little flow in their existence and... elaborate on them, never missing the chance to make others feel responsible for their “unhappiness.”
There are then those who feel they are always criticized or looked down at, so they become self-conscious and afraid of not being “enough” — although they are perfectly all right. A friend of yours might be a woman who, while being acceptably pretty, feels the need to “fix” herself up in every possible way. She does not perceive herself beautiful to her satisfaction and spends a fortune on clothes, make up and diets, never feeling satisfied with the results. Or you might be acquainted with a man who believes he is inferior to his colleagues unless he keeps on proving how smart he is – all the time.
The more I look around, the more I see dissatisfied, nervous, moody people. If I think of all the truly “unhappy” ones, those who are seriously sick, who live in distress, who are challenged by tragic situations, I wonder how come that beings who find themselves in much less stressful circumstances, are unable to acknowledge, enjoy, appreciate them, and ... live better.
The only conclusion I can come up with is that most human beings are not wired toward happiness. When I say happiness I mainly refer to “serenity,” a state of mind that makes one calm, content, where he (or she) willingly accepts what comes along and makes the best he can with it. Is it too difficult to put such possibility into practice?
Hard to say, because it seems it is a totally “personal” endeavor. I therefore invite you to carry out an easy self-examination exercise. Carefully look at your life, at the general state of your health, at your family relationships, at your work situation, at your finances, at your house.... Be honest in discerning how aware you actually are of all these assets, how grateful you are for them, to what degree you are really enjoying them. Now find out all the things you usually complain about...
Done? Very well. At this point, create two imaginary containers in your mind or, if you prefer (it’s even better) draw them on a piece of paper. Start filling one with your assets and the other with your complaints. Be careful: The number of the assets might be higher, but the complaints might have a much bigger “volume” (importance for you, right now). Once you are finished, assess the situation. Which one is fuller? This will give you a clearer image of your life, of how you feel and why. It might also suggest a possible way to improve your thoughts and, consequently, your behavior, in order to face tomorrow’s challenges with a better attitude.
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Blog: recreateyourlifetoday.blogspot.com
Creative Thinking: The discovery of warm water
