I have recently written about “falling idols,” famous people who, after being exalted by millions, are happily smashed down because of their faults. They showed that, after all, they did not deserve such great admiration. Today, on the other hand, I would like to talk about someone who — truly — is worthy of admiration and gratitude: our personal “hero”. Everybody knows a special person who has had (or is still having) a great impact in their lives, a person who greatly influenced them in a most positive way, a person who helped them to be the best they can be, by discovering the good traits in their own character.
I therefore invite you to do a little exercise that could end up being quite interesting and enlightening. I am suggesting here that you think about the person who you believe has been the most important in your life, the one who molded you into who you are. I am not referring to great inspirational figures such as teachers, thinkers, authors, speakers etc. I am referring to someone you have actually known and interacted with in the course of your younger years.
I am going to do this exercise myself and I immediately say that the person who inspired me and, in a way, defined the turn that my life has taken was my Father. He did not actually direct my life choices, he rather instilled in me the principles to which I inspired my choices. The true “inspirer”, in fact, is the one who, rather than words, uses “deeds” as teaching tools, as a guide in creating thoughts, beliefs, behaviors.
My Father was not a “joker”, on the contrary. He was stern and severe, moderately strict, but neither rigid not hard. He was “just”, i.e. he behaved according to what is morally right and fair. From him I learned “honesty”, because I have never seen him behave in a less than straightforward way. He “gave Caesar what belonged to Caesar” (an Italian proverb that means giving everybody what is their right to receive) and therefore taught me to never overlook my duties, to carry out my tasks in the best possible way, to not avoid what was my responsibility. From him I also learned “respect” because he respected all the people he was dealing with, treating them well regardless to their social status. He respected everybody and expected to receive the same treatment. And he did. From him I learned to be “careful” because he showed me how not to be caught into the snare of squandering or getting into debt. He believed that a human being should be wise enough to spend according to his or her means, to have the patience to wait till they can afford what they wish to acquire.
From him I learned “reliability” because I never saw him letting anyone down. If he gave his word, he kept it at all cost. If there was a “time” to respect, he would respect it. This, maybe, is the trait that I most recurrently remember because, in the course of my life, I often had the opportunity to notice how easily people forget to keep their word or do not do what they promised they would. From him I also learned “self-worth”, i.e. to believe in myself, in my strength, in my capabilities. He taught me to be proud without ever being conceited. From him I learned “order”, i.e. to be well organized and to plan ahead whenever it was possible. He preferred to know in advance what he was going to do, rather than leave it to chance. So do I.
Last but not least, from my Father I learned “caring”, the greatest feature of all. Caring does not necessarily mean hugging, kissing or telling sweet words all the time. It means to be there when you are needed. It means to be concerned with someone else’s feelings. It means to make the other person feel that — when you are with them — they are safe. All this, I learned from my Father. I don’t know how well I am doing but I can honestly say that “I try” to live up to his example.
Have you discovered who your “hero”, your “mentor” is? It shouldn’t be difficult. It’s enough to become aware of how often you quote their words or behave as they would have. These are the people who deserve to be looked up to. Let us never forget it.
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