Not just physically but mentally too!
Our children are small and vulnerable for such a short time and yet there is often little time to enjoy them because of the fast pace of life. Staying at home taking care of the children and being a full time mother is a skill that is less valued, certainly in the West where it has almost become politically correct to have a baby and return back into the work force as quickly as possible.
Babies do not have a voice of their own to say to us, “I don’t want to be left with anyone but you”. Modern motherhood in the West seems to be moving toward having a baby and packing them off to a nursery or child care as soon as possible. In England I know of babies of professionals put in childcare from 8.30 a.m. until 6.30 p.m. daily.
If, as mothers, we do not look after our own babies, how will we pass on those vital parenting skills to the next generation? Who will be the major influence on our child? It is a really hard call, as many wives need to contribute toward the family income.
The behavior of children in schools in the UK has become poor; with children misbehaving and demanding the teacher’s attention because they do not get enough attention at home and their parents expect the school to do the parenting. Children also arrive at school without good language skills because they have not been taught adequate language skills at home. They now need to be taught speaking and listening skill by the teacher. The person responsible for teaching a child to speak is the mother and she is the best teacher for this job. This is why a child’s first language is called the mother tongue. Communication starts with eye contact and the baby picks up information from watching the mother’s face.
Many modern women are highly educated and want careers but the years when your children are small are very few and pass by so very fast. There are still so many years to pursue a career. There is no hurry.
What is important to little ones is spending time with parents in familiar surroundings where they feel comfortable and safe. Giving your children your time and full attention builds their self-esteem and confidence, and makes them feel valued.
I am certainly not saying that nurseries, and nannies, do not do an excellent job, but at a very young age, your baby instinctively wants to be with their mother. If they spend more time with someone else, then you are not the primary carer. Nurseries can provide great activities and time for little ones to play with other little people but only for a few hours and only if the small child seems happy to go. If they appear unhappy to go to nursery or stay with a nanny over a period of time it is a sign that they do not enjoy it or that something is not right.
Who will influence your child’s personality?
Development of the personality starts at conception, as it is an inheritance of the parents’ genes. But the personality traits we carry through our lives relate to our experiences in early childhood. In the early years, a child’s personality is molded. By showing your child kindness and encouraging them to be to be considerate, you are physically influencing the development of their brain. The characteristics we develop in childhood are those most likely to stay with us for the rest of our lives.
If a child is shown that its needs or feelings are not important, and over a period of time this is repeated, then the child will learn to have a low opinion of themselves.
There are of course many women who have to work or need to work, myself included, and I have found working for myself is the best solution for my family because I can be flexible.
It is important that we make the most of the time with our children by really giving them our full attention and really listening and focusing on what our children are saying.
Computers, iPads and Blackberries are wonderful but can be great time wasters and should be kept to a minimum so that there is more time to focus on real communication, which is not on a screen. You are not really present with your child if you are talking on the phone.
In the West it is so easy these days to be defined by what you own, or what you do for a living: It takes a centered, confident, generous woman to be a full time mother. When you give your children your time, you give them the precious gift of self-value, everything you give your child you receive back a hundred fold. This may be the ideal but something we can all work toward.
Ask Alva
How many calories are burned walking two kilometers? — Peter
This will vary depending on the individual, speed walked, terrain, etc. An average is 50 calories per kilometer.
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