JEDDAH, 2 January — The Shoura Council has instigated a debate on the causes behind the high cost of marriage in the country and the ways it can be tackled. The move comes in the wake of reports that the number of Saudi spinsters has soared to more than 1.5 million in a society of just 16 million people.
Fifty leading female academics and experts joined their male counterparts in the discussions organized by the Islamic Affairs Committee of the Shoura Council.
The objective was to listen to the views of the experts and seek their advice.
Parents of girls are now routinely demanding up to SR200,000 ($53,000) from prospective grooms. Many males who plan to get married therefore have to resort to borrowing to meet the high cost.
According to a study released by the Ministry of Planning, the number of unmarried women in the Kingdom is 1.52 million. The study revealed that 2.64 million women, out of a total of 4.57 million of marriageable age, are married.
Officials, sociologists and the ulema have joined hands in an effort to convince people to shun established marriage practices. Al-Watan newspaper interviewed a number of prominent thinkers to shed light on the issue.
The basic reason for the rising number of spinsters was thought to be the huge sums of dowry demanded by the parents for their girls’ hands. However, studies confirm that a high dowry is not the only cause for the huge number of unmarried women, Al-Watan pointed out.
Abdullah Omar Naseef, former deputy chairman of the Shoura Council, said people like him, who have been appalled by the negative impacts of the demands for a high dowry on social life, warned parents about the consequences of demanding unrealistic sums from bridegrooms a decade ago. In addition to the dowry, the bridegroom is compelled to spend a substantial sum on wedding parties, dresses and furniture for the communal flat.
Abdul Fatah Abu Madyan, president of the Jeddah Literary Club, blamed mothers, many of whom only want their daughters to be married to wealthy men who can organize elaborate wedding celebrations. In their attempts to show off, the mothers ignore their daughters’ right to get married and settle down in a normal manner, the newspaper quoted Abu Madyan as saying. He also warned mothers not to go against religious teachings, which insist on a moderate dowry.
The scholar asserted that some parents of brides in the Kingdom are so unscrupulous that they demand a groom buy a new car for the bride’s father.
Entisar Al-Aqeel, Saudi woman writer, said there are also parents who return the dowry to the groom to guarantee that their daughter has a happy family life, though their number is few. She further said that when her daughter got married she did the same with the groom.
According to another female writer, Azizah Mani, the issue is very difficult to resolve as it is intertwined with several others, such as high living costs. Simplicity in matters related to wedding and marriage will help solve the social evil, the writer said. She considers that financial aid for getting married will only make things worse, as more money means increasing the wedding expenses in a society where women respect those who offer a high dowry and organized expensive functions.
Denying the claims by some that high dowries are instrumental in discouraging polygamy and divorce, the writer argued that stopping large wedding functions, expensive dresses and costumes and other wasteful practices associated with weddings as the only solution.
A religious scholar Al-Muabbi said that Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) and his companions prohibited demanding a high dowry. In his view, only 10 percent of people now demand extortionate amounts.
The female experts who attended Monday’s Shoura debate through closed circuit television proposed the setting up of an official body to monitor the unwanted social practices.
The head of the council’s Islamic Affairs Committee, Saleh Al-Ali, said the women proposed that the authorities should examine the reasons behind the phenomenon and come up with solutions.
The women also proposed that Saudi banks and charities facilitate the marriages of young men and women, and urged private firms and public establishments to set up marriage funds. They suggested that incentives, like priority in jobs, be given to those who tie the knot.
The committee will draft the outcome of the debate as a comprehensive proposal to be reviewed by the council and then presented to the government for implementation.
