Q. I married against our local traditions, which are influenced by the Hindu faith. My marriage was in line with Islamic requirements. My parents, however, dislike the fact, as my marriage did not bring me the privileges expected, while my sisters have to follow the local tradition and their marriages are expected to be very costly to my parents. I have been sending my parents all the money I could save to help with the demands of our large family. Now my wife is saying that I should be attending more to my own family’s needs, sending my parents what they need for their own living. Is this correct?
M.C.R
Riyadh
A. If you are supporting your parents with their living expenses and looking after their dependents, i.e. your sisters and young brothers, then you have fulfilled all that Islam requires of you. If you can provide for your sisters’ marriages and you are willing to do so, that is very kind of you and you stand to earn great reward for it, but this is not required as a duty of yours. It is something you do out of love and dutifulness to your parents who have educated you and given you the means to have a decent job.
There is no doubt that the demands made on the bride’s parents in some parts of India and Pakistan are not only too heavy, but also un-Islamic. Islam makes it the duty of the bridegroom to look after his wife, providing her with a decent home and standard of living, according to his means. Moreover, he pays her dowry, which becomes her own property. In the Hindu tradition, which is unfortunately followed by some Muslims, it is the reverse: the bride has to pay a large dowry and provide a family home. This means that a family with a couple of daughters is at a great disadvantage. Now if all such expenses are to be paid for by one brother, and if his own means are not that good, then that is totally unfair.
Our reader should realize that what he did with his marriage is the correct Islamic practice. He should not yield to any pressure on this point. Moreover, what his parents want to do with the marriage of his sister is not Islamic, but they may have to follow the local tradition. Unfortunately people do not realize that when more and more of them rebel against un-Islamic tradition the sooner these ill-conceived and unfair traditions will collapse.
Our reader is wondering whether the fact that his parents are now suffering because he has reduced what he sends them will nullify his good deeds. The answer is that dutifulness to parents is one of the most important deeds a person does in life after believing in God and Islam. But I understand that he was in the habit of sending them every last riyal he earns, retaining only what he needs for himself and his wife.
That is extremely dutiful. As I have already explained, his responsibility is to provide for his parents’ and sisters’ living expenses. Nothing nullifies his past, exemplary kindness and dutifulness.
He also asks whether he has to pay zakah on his salary. What zakah? According to what he says, he does not own anything. Therefore he is not liable to any zakah. Zakah is payable only when a person owns the threshold of zakah, which is around 4,000 riyals. If he saves this amount then when he has saved it, that date becomes his zakah date. He should make a note of it. The following year, and every subsequent year, on the same date he calculates what he has. If it is above that amount, he pays zakah on what he owns at the normal rate of 2.5 percent. But according to the information he has written, he is not liable to zakah at the present moment.
