The spirit of initiative was first to go. Then followed the spirit of self-expression.
Such has been the recent history of the Third World, which is now so fatigued that it has lost its will to innovate. It has become dependent on developed nations to do their thinking for them.
As in other Third World countries, the people of the Gulf have been similarly ravaged by this habit of dependence. It’s frightening when we learn how far back this dependence goes. For instance, it was the English and the Swiss who came up with ways of making the Arab national dress more suitable for the region’s climate by offering us the refreshing ghoutra (headdress) and white or light-colored thobe. Now it is the French with their fastidious taste who provide Gulf women with elegantly designed black abayas of synthetic silk.
With this loss of initiative comes the loss of our voice, sometimes even that used to plead our legitimate rights. Our voices have become chronically inhibited with the passage of time. We are, in the words of an Arab playwright, not able to open our mouths, “except in the dentist’s chair.” Demanding one’s legitimate rights has been reduced to shouting empty political or religious slogans. Is it any wonder? How can men and women who are broken inside, their initiatives crushed, be capable of demanding what is rightfully theirs?
According to a recent BBC report, some doctors in China have developed a simple plastic surgery to overcome Chinese difficulty in pronouncing English words. The surgery, reportedly, helps them master the pronunciation of any foreign language. Oh, were there such a surgery for the spirit of the Third World so that they could voice themselves freely and coherently!
No one needs such radical surgery more than Gulf women, whose tongues have been slit over time and whose spirits are in desperate need of rejuvenation. Consider the claims of Dr. Fahd Turkistani of Umm Al-Qura University whose study revealed that 50 percent of traffic accidents in the Kingdom were caused by women. If only there were just one Saudi women to challenge such patently absurd statements! How on earth can a woman in Saudi Arabia cause traffic accidents when the law does not permit her to drive? But to answer such outrageous insults, women need to do so with reason and calm. In fact, we are in immediate need of women, and also men, with better communication skills to handle women’s issues with logic and objectivity. We need women who are capable of arguing with resolve and dignity, instead of in anger and aggression.
In a recent research conducted at a training and development center, we attempted to evaluate a new, experimental syllabus. The questions put to the participants, males and females between 18 and 21, were clear and direct. However, the study revealed much more about the participants than it gave answers to our questions. More than 70 percent of the youths did not give a direct answer to the questions or even come close to the topic. They talked about matters unrelated to the study such as the training center, its administration, their working hours, and even about the building of the center and the quality of food served at the cafeteria, but not a word about the syllabus. The women participants did no better. Ninety percent preferred to discuss topics of their own choice and not the topics suggested by us. The only convincing explanation for this surprising behavior is that they were given an opportunity to express themselves, but out of habit and neglect failed to recognize or respond to it. They had been brought up in an atmosphere where they were not allowed to express their opinions, especially on personal matters. Moreover, even if they said something few cared to listen.
As a people, many of us have brought up our children without teaching them the value of their own opinions, perhaps even pretending that they don’t exist. This is how we have managed to stifle this important part of their personality. Such denial means that they are growing up with impaired communication skills, each of our children carrying in his or her heart an oppressive weight that continues to block their spirit of initiative and make them incapable of broaching a subject reasonably and skillfully.
For so long our tongues have not been accustomed to speaking clearly and forthrightly. And even if some do attempt to break the chains of the past, unfortunately they still have not learned how to listen to the views of others.
Yes, we — particularly the women of the Gulf — are a people in need of some radical psychological surgery. Where it comes from is anyone’s business. But it is the only way we can be cured of our chronic mental timidity. Will a medicine man cure what time has so sadly spoiled?
Wajeha Howaider is a program analyst at Aramco. She holds an MA in Reading Management from George Washington University.
13 August 2002
