“I still love my husband in the same mad and passionate way I loved him 33 years ago when I married him. I was then a girl of 13 and he was 19. He has been a lover to me rather than a husband all these years.” Umm Haithem, a reader, wrote to me recently.
“My husband is everything to me. He is more precious to me than my life. He cannot remain an hour away from me and I yearn to be at his side all the time. It is virtually impossible for me to pass two continuous hours without hearing his voice at least over the telephone. When I hear his voice, as he appears at the door, my face blushes and my heart flutters as a young woman feels about to meet her lover. I feel that I am having the first meeting with my lover after a long separation or as if I am going to begin a love affair afresh,” Umm Haithem continued. “I pray to Allah that his life be prolonged even if it is by taking away part of my life and giving it to him. I also pray that I should die before him because I cannot imagine living a second after him.”
In the letter she went on describing the rarely found joy of married life. The couple is also proud of their children. They have five sons and two daughters — the oldest is 27 and youngest five. In addition they have five grandchildren. They all thank Allah for His blessing on them and pray always to make their happiness everlasting. “We are not rich but one thing I am most sure — the riches of the whole world cannot give us this kind of happiness,” she wrote.
Umm Haithem has been a schoolteacher for the past 15 years. She works hard both at home and school. She never complains of anything to anyone. I want all my readers to know about this rare couple so that my readers understand that married life could be a fountain of endless joy. People always write to me about how their dreams were shattered after marriage and the hellish life they are living ever after. All the other 16 letters I received during the last week, for instance, described at length the wretched life couples were leading once the initial euphoria of their marriage was over.
Leo Tolstoy observed in his famous novel “Anna Karenina” that “all happy families are alike in their happiness; all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way.” Unfailing mutual love between the man and wife in all circumstances is the most distinctive feature of a blissful married life. No matter how enormous the adversity is, their contentment with the other partner remains unchanged. Seasoned with love, the food she cooks will be tastier than the best dish prepared by the most expensive chef in the world. Accompanied with love the dress he buys for her will be more wonderful than one made by the most elegant designer. The children feel peace and stability and the family bond is strong and firm.
