Q. 1. In reply to an earlier question, you said it is permissible for a teacher to be married to his girl student. I have no problem with that except to say that a teacher would not have decided to marry a student of his unless he has watched her and admired her for sometime. Such a decision is not taken overnight. Hence, a question may be raised concerning such period and what happens between them. Your approval indirectly offers a green signal to go ahead with love and then marriage. The whole idea should be discouraged. Please comment.
M. Anvardeen, Riyadh
A. The first point I would like to say is that an answer is given according to the question put. I am not one to inquire into people’s motives and inner intentions. That is something known to God and He deals with His servants accordingly. Since the teacher wants to marry the girl, there is nothing wrong with that. Why should we go into the details of how he came to this decision? We are not required, or indeed permitted to inquire into that, except for a headmaster or someone in authority trying to ensure that people within the school do not overstep the Islamic limits.
Moreover, it is wrong to be suspicious of others simply because they express an intention of marriage. Of course people would like first of all to make sure that the person they are marrying satisfies their hopes. This applies to both man and woman. Hence, Islam permits a serious suitor to look at the woman he intends to marry in a way he is not supposed to do with others. The Prophet told Jabir, one of his companions who was looking for a wife: "If you can see of her what encourages you to marry her, do so." Jabir says that he watched her from his hiding place so that she was not aware of him. Then he proposed to her, putting the proposal to her father.
Sometimes we read Islamic teachings in a very restrictive manner, particularly when it comes to man and woman relations. Islam is very clear in its approach. It cultivates into its followers, men and women, a sense of modesty and a high moral standard. It then allows them a reasonable space to move in. When one wants to get married, of course both he and his prospective wife should know each other. Hence, they are allowed to meet within clearly drawn limits so as to be sure. If it so happens that one finds himself in a situation to know someone well, as in the case of a teacher and student, or colleagues at work, there is nothing wrong in that, provided that they take the right move, with a serious proposal put through the family.
God says to the Prophet: "No other women are henceforth lawful to you, nor are you allowed to replace any of them by other wives, even though their beauty should please you greatly." (33: 52) In this verse God mentions the possibility that the Prophet might admire the beauty of women whom he could marry, except for this order restricting him to the wives he had at that time. I think the language of this Qur’anic verse is self-explanatory.
