CAIRO, 27 April 2003 — The fall of Baghdad has given rise to a sort of gallows humor here, reflecting the shock and disappointment of people who thought Iraq would offer greater resistance to the US-led invasion.
These jokes are short and to the point, Al-Majallah, a sister publication of Arab News, reported. They were exchanged as text messages and over the Internet, and became gradually darker as the war progressed.
It began with a message asking people to log onto CNN as Saddam had agreed to resign, on condition that he could live in the White House. Other messages showed a picture of the Iraqi leader captioned “Seeking employment pending fall of regime.”
Some jokes were in question and answer format. “Saddam asks Bin Laden,” one message went, “what do I do when it’s over? Bin Laden said: Hide in a cave, record some tapes and send them to Al-Jazeerah.” Another was: “Saddam, how are you going to hang the Americans from the walls of Baghdad? And Saddam says: I didn’t mean the city, I meant underground Baghdad.”
“Saddam,” another joke went, “why did you disappear?” And Saddam says: “I decided to destabilize the enemy by splitting up his search parties.”
Other figures in the Baath regime also came in for satire. One joke promised Iraqi Information Minister Muhammad Saeed Al-Sahaf a post-war job as a comedian in Egyptian cinema. Or have you heard the one about Saddam and Sahaf on the banks of the Tigris? A man on the other side raises two fingers in a victory sign. “What happened,” says Saddam, “did we win the war?” “Don’t be stupid,” Sahaf says. “He means there’s just two of us left.” However, the other side was not spared. Bush and Blair are giving a press conference. “Right,” Bush says, “we’re going to kill two million Iraqis and one construction worker.” Question from the press: “Why do you want to kill a construction worker?” Bush leans over to Blair and whispers: “Told you nobody gives a damn about the two million Iraqis.”
Some old Egyptian jokes were adapted to suit the occasion. For example, Bush, Blair and Saddam gathered one day on the banks of the Euphrates. Bush asked his secret service to dive in and bring him a crocodile. The agents, to a man, say: “Sorry sir, no can do, we have wives and kids to look after.” Blair tries, same result: “Sorry sir, no can do, we have wives and kids to look after.” Then it’s Saddam’s turn, and all the agents jump in and bring him lots of crocodiles. Bush and Blair say: “How did you do that?” And Saddam says: “I have their wives and kids to look after.”
Another joke from the same family went like this. Saddam, Putin and Bush are swimming in the Arabian Gulf when a big whale appears. Bush says: “If you eat me, my war ships will destroy you.” Putin says: “If you eat me, my missiles will destroy you.” They swim hard to the shore and escape by the skin of their teeth, only to find Saddam waiting on the beach. “How did you get here so fast?” they ask. Saddam says: “I told him my name and he spit me out on the beach.”
