JEDDAH, 20 July 2003 — The issue of American women who get married to Saudi men and have children and get divorced is a matter of great concern for both governments and the people of both countries, as well of course as the individuals concerned.
At a press conference yesterday, US Ambassador Robert Jordan addressed the issue directly.
“We see instances of violations of American court custody agreements where the father abducts the children and brings them to Saudi Arabia and we have the difficult task of fixing the situation. Also situations of American women who live in Saudi Arabia and wish to leave their husbands or their father but the Saudi law requires the consent of the husband or the father to leave the country,” he told a select group of journalists at the US Consulate in Jeddah.
The US government had had some success in that regard as the Saudi government made a commitment last September that all adult American women are free to travel outside Saudi Arabia without the father or husband’s consent and in almost every case since then permission has been granted.
“The problem we still have to deal with though is the kids. They are not free to take the children with them which creates a human tragedy in separating them from their mother or taking the children from their father,” said Jordan.
The question is how to give proper respect to Saudi custom and law and at the same time protect the rights of American citizens which is to be free to leave the country any time they wish.
“I want to make it clear that our diplomatic personnel will assist any adult American citizen who wants to leave in any way to help them leave, this includes interceding with the Saudi government to issue exit visas, contacting family in the US, providing loans, engaging social service personnel in US to help them settle there and anything that we need to do to help anyone who might be in danger,” he said.
“Any American citizens who feel they are in immediate danger can seek refuge in US Embassy or consulates,” he added.
In 2003, they had six adults and 10 children seeking refuge, most of them trying to get away from abusive domestic situation. Several others have been in contact with the US Embassy, “but they don’t have to seek refuge in order for us to help them, we can help in other ways. The important thing in these is the custody issues, particularly what to do with the children, to maintain as good a family relationship as possible and keep communication lines open between the couple,” Jordan added.
“These are difficult issues especially when there is a conflict between secular law and Shariah law which don’t always coincide and each side feels strongly about the correctness of their view so we have to understand that it’s sometimes difficult to find a solution.”
The Saudi government is interested in the issue of American women’s safety in their homes, according to Jordan, and they have assigned officials from both the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the office of Jeddah governor to intervene. They have called and met with couples and sat with individual family members and participated in a very active way to resolve these issues.
Both governments have negotiated separation agreements, the terms under which they will separate, how the couple will deal with children, who will have visitation rights during what period of the year. If the mother is going to the US, will the mother have custody during the school year as the children go to school there and visit in the summer or stay for school here and visit US in the summer vacation? How will the children will be raised, who will have access to them, will there be visitation rights of the parent who doesn’t have day-to-day custody?
“In some cases we have arrest warrants against fathers who abducted children in violation of court orders. There is negotiation about what to do with that warrant or the court order which might have convicted the father or indicted him for a crime because it’s a crime to abduct a child in violation of a court order. In the end it has to be an agreement that the parents are willing to accept, we will try to encourage them to think of what’s in the best interest of the children,” Jordan explained.
“We had 12 to 15 cases in the last year and half we worked on actively. There are probably more out there. Some cases work themselves out on their own between the parents, and we might try to help and we do reconciliation agreement when the mother decides to stay with the children,” said Loren Mealey, a vice consul at the US Consulate who works with couples and deal with family crises.
The ambassador agreed that there is now more pressure to address these issues.
“We have been raising these issues for a number of years and now we have a sympathetic ear and an understanding with the Jeddah governor’s office, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the Ministry of Interior. There has been increased scrutiny of this problem since late last summer. The US media has been more interested in it, Congress has been more active in it. There was a congressional delegation here last October.”
“There is no a law that establishes the right to custody. Saudi Arabia is not a signatory to the Hague Convention on child abduction so there is no bilateral agreement or international agreement in place that establishes who has the right to any kind of custody. We would like to have a bilateral agreement with Saudi Arabia to establish at least concepts of visitation if the parents live in different countries and a way to establish which country’s laws would determine custody issues and who has what rights to the children. There are a lot of reasons why that’s a difficult agreement to enter into. In the US, custody law is different in each state, but there is always a way to go forward on that so that it is predictable.
When an American and Saudi get married they need to have a clear understanding at that time of what would happen if they get divorced and have kids so that they know what they are getting into. Very often that’s the last thing they think about but if the government can help in advising them on the risks and responsibilities they need to anticipate then we can do them a great service.”
One of the recent cases of an American woman seeking refuge in the US Consulate is that of Sara Saga. She is a Saudi-American mother of two who sought refuge at the consulate in June 2003 from her allegedly abusive Saudi husband and wanted to go to the US where her American mother resides in Fresno, California.
Sara Saga was brought to Saudi Arabia when she was six by her father who had divorced her mother, and Sara has not seen her mother or been in contact with her since. According to a spokesperson from the Saudi Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Sara’s husband helped her find her mother over the Internet, taught her English so she can speak with her fluently and tried to arrange for them to meet in Egypt because he could not afford to buy her a ticket to the US.
Moreover, it is alleged that Sara’s father was abusive and prevented Sara from contacting her mother. Her Saudi husband, on the other hand, was very sympathetic and supportive of her with to meet her mother. Unfortunately, her mother convinced her instead to go to the US Consulate and seek their assistance to leave permanently with the children.
“She signed a statement agreeing to leave her children behind,” said the spokesperson but Consul General Gina Abercrombie-Winstanley said yesterday that she is now asking for her children to join her in the US and that she did not intend to sign an agreement to relinquish future rights to her children but did only what the ministry asked her to do.
She met with her husband privately in the consulate. Both signed an agreement that the husband would not prevent her from seeing her children if she came to Saudi Arabia but she didn’t state clearly that she wouldn’t ask for her children once she arrived in the US.
