I have always thought that nothing could be worse than helplessly watching innocent people suffer or die. For as long as I can remember, my heart has ached for the Arabs and Muslims dying all over the world: In Palestine, Bosnia, Afghanistan, and now Iraq. Recently, however, I have learned that there is something worse. When innocent people are killed on your land by barbaric monsters that carry the same passport, speak the same tongue and claim to be of your religion, the pain is much worse. Pain, mixed with heavy guilt cuts much deeper into the soul than empathy for the suffering for others.
Last year, Al-Qaeda moved its barbaric war into my country. They started with the bombing of compounds where Westerners live. Innocent men, women, and children were killed when their homes were bombed as they slept. We all watched, shocked at the atrocities being committed in the name of our religion. The May 1 incident at Yanbu, where several foreigners were shot and dragged through the streets, was another blow to our already wounded spirits. Contrary to what some might think, we do not cheer these faceless cowards on. In fact, we pray for the day they all perish off the face of the earth.
Even more horrific was watching these crimes take on a more savage edge: Shooting people on the streets in cold blood. The first of the series of these crimes started on May 22 when a German was shot dead in Riyadh. This crime in particular proved that the claims made by these extremists against American presence in the Kingdom were just an excuse to shoot anyone Western. The fact that these beasts were stupid made them even more dangerous. I recall a saying: “There is nothing more dangerous than a fool with a cause.”
On June 6, Simon Cumbers, an Irish cameraman was shot dead while in Riyadh filming for the BBC, and his British colleague, Frank Gardner, was critically wounded. I could not help but think if the radicals committing these crimes had a real cause to fight for, they would make use of, not kill, journalists who could be their voice in the world. If this incident proves anything, it is that these people have no real cause; their only aim is destruction and murder. They have developed an insatiable taste for blood and continue to kill mercilessly.
On June 8, Robert Jacobs, a 62-year-old American, was shot dead at point blank range. The fact that the perpetrators showed a video of the shooting reveals another dark and twisted part of their minds: Not unlike serial killers, they thrive on showing off their crimes. On the video, they describe their victim as an American Jew working for a spy company, Vinnell Corp. By describing him as Jew, they ignorantly think they will win the sympathy of Muslims. Any true Muslim will know that these crimes are not in the teachings of Islam. The true spirit of Islam can be found in the actions of our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): When a group of men passed by the Prophet carrying a dead body to the graveyard, the Prophet stood out of respect for the deceased. The Prophet’s followers said: “But Prophet, he is a Jew.” The Prophet answered: “Is it not a soul?” Such were the teachings of Islam, not the vile words coming out of these men.
On June 12, Kenneth Scroggs was shot dead as he was parking his car. The same day something even more surreal happened: Paul M. Johnson, another American was abducted and held hostage. The criminals aired a video displaying their latest victim and asking for the release of other extremists in return for his life. A 72-hour deadline was given. Obviously, the barbarism of these people had no limits. Of course, the government would not negotiate, as complying with these criminals would only encourage more kidnappings. We were all appalled, but not surprised, when these faceless beasts publicly slaughtered their innocent victim.
My already battered heart broke once again for Johnson’s family. His name, along with the names of all the other lives cruelly taken here, will forever be etched in my heart. I am not naive enough to think that this will be the end; I just pray that we can survive this ordeal and learn from it for the future.
In closing, I dedicate a poem, written by Haila Al-Khalaf for Frank Gardner and to all the other innocent victims:
You lay, not too far away
I can almost hear you breathe
I saw your face the other day
I touched the screen
Tears which refused to be dried by the
troubled desert breeze
Blurred the face I ached to see
Acid tears scarred my face
In utter shame I turned away
From that night on
I prayed
For you, for us
On my knees, I fell
And on my knees I fall
The suffocating silence within my soul
Remains huddled in fear
The guilt of your pain surrounds us all
ICU, bed eleven, a woman by
your side they say
I feel her too
The ache is miles deep
She may never see my dark brooding eyes
Saudi eyes that wept for you
She may never see me kneel to pray
Tonight, my friend
I feel so small
I have lost the way
So, let me stay right here
Until the evil outside is banished
Driven away---
All the fires waged in His name, extinguished
Let me pray
Two voices whispering in different tongues
May the tongue that I speak —
A tongue which caused you pain
Reverse their curse
May it find its way to the deepest
part of your sleep
Urge you to carry on
Struggle, fight back, and win
Amen... Amen.
(Mody Al-Khalaf is a Saudi writer. She is based in Riyadh.)
