Q. People who come from certain countries observe certain traditions after the death of someone in the community. For example, after the burial, a few dozen people assemble in the deceased’s home where they take part in reading the Qur’an in full, each reading a part, and having food. Similar observations are made on the third day, and every Thursday for several weeks, and on the 40th day, with food being placed in the middle. Are these observations Islamic?
A. Qureshi
A. Unfortunately such traditions have become common in many Muslim countries, with some variations here or there. They are mixed with Islamic practices, which are simple and straightforward. For example, Islam encourages neighbors to look after the deceased’s family, sparing them the need to cook or buy food, in the immediate period after their bereavement.
It also requires neighbors, relatives, friends and the community at large to offer their condolences to the deceased’s family, visiting them in the first three days and when meeting them later. As many people as it is feasible should take part in the funeral, offering prayers for the deceased. Afterward, the family of the deceased should be looked after, with their affairs put on a reasonably sound footing.
Unfortunately, these requirements have come to be associated with observations that may appear to be caring and sympathetic, but are sometimes a burden to the family. There is no requirement or recommendation to read the Qur’an in full after the burial, but we may, or indeed should pray God to bestow His mercy on the deceased and forgive him or her their sins. Nothing of the traditional observations you have mentioned on the particular days, whether Thursdays or 3rd, 10th or 40th day, is recommended or encouraged by Islam. They are all deviation from Islamic practice.
A relative may wish to gift the reward of a Qur’anic recitation to the deceased, or may offer the pilgrimage or the Umrah or a charitable donation, i.e. sadaqah, to the deceased. To do so, he does such an action with the clear intention that he is doing it on the deceased’s behalf and praying God to credit its reward to the deceased. This can be done at any time, and in whatever measure the person doing it finds reasonable.
A recitation of the Qur’an could be one page, or one surah, or more; it does not have to be the whole of the Qur’an. A charity could be very small or generous, according to the person’s means. Such actions may be done at any time, not necessarily on particular days or anniversaries.
A Common Difficulty
Q. It is a common problem for people who cannot bring their wives to live with them while they are working abroad to resort to masturbation as a means to relieve their sexual urge. People say that it is strictly forbidden. Please comment.
(Name and address withheld)
A. This is the case of countless number of people who are either unable to marry or, if they are married, are not living with their wives. They have to deal with their sexual desire, which God has given us as a means to ensure the continuity of the human race. When they are troubled, they resort to masturbation.
Scholars differ on the ruling concerning this habit, with those taking a very strict view pronouncing it as forbidden, while others make it permissible in all situations. Neither attitude is correct, since there is no clear evidence to support total prohibition or general permission. The correct view is that all five rulings may apply in different situations. The five rulings range from prohibition to obligation, with discouragement, permissibility and encouragement in between. In the case of a man living with his wife, with no problem between them, and nothing to prevent satisfaction of the sexual desire in the normal way, masturbation is deemed to be strongly discouraged. It could border on prohibition if the husband indulges in it too often, so as to fall short of giving his wife the satisfaction of her desire necessary to help her to maintain Islamic standards of virtuous morality. In the case of a person who is unmarried and fears to slip into a more serious offense, it is encouraged to resort to masturbation in order to reduce his tension and be able to think clearly and refrain from what is definitely forbidden. This could border on obligation if the man seriously fears that he would commit fornication. In other cases, which represent the overwhelming majority of situations, it is permissible, unless it becomes a very frequent habit which debilitates the man, when it becomes discouraged, or makrooh.
Having said that, young people are also encouraged to take measures to reduce the tension created by the need to control their sexual urge. This could be through keeping themselves busy, physical exercise, and fasting. The Prophet tells us: “Young people! Whoever of you is able to marry should do so. He who cannot may resort to fasting, for it provides protection.”
