Q.1. People back home say that a person could only offer the pilgrimage if he is free of duties and burdens. In other words, he should have no responsibilities. May I ask whether I could perform the pilgrimage while I am working in Saudi Arabia.
Q.2. My wife is staying back home with her parents. She says it is better for her, considering that my own family home includes my parents and my brothers with their wives and children. Is there any rule that says I should not keep my wife in my family home?
Omer Mustafa
A.1. What people mean when they say that a pilgrim should have no responsibilities is that he should be able to cover the expenses of his journey and what is needed for his family’s living during his absence. Otherwise, there is no one without any duty, burden or responsibility. Thus, a person who wishes to perform the pilgrimage should have no outstanding debts, unless his creditor agrees to defer the debt repayment. He should leave his family enough money to meet their needs. This means that when the pilgrimage season arrives, you certainly can avail yourself of the opportunity which your work in this country provides and offer the pilgrimage.
A.2. There is no rigid rule that a man’s wife should stay with his own family or with her parents when he is away on his business. They choose what is best for them and more comfortable for the wife and their children. In the circumstances the reader mentions, it is certainly better for his wife to stay with her parents, because she could feel very lonely in his family’s home, where her brothers-in-law have their wives while she is alone. Moreover, close contacts with her husband’s brothers during his absence is not to be encouraged.
A Widow’s Waiting Period
Q. When my husband’s colleague had a stroke, relatives and friends kept his wife’s company, reading the Qur’an and supplicating to God, until he died a few days later. May I ask if there are any specific surahs or supplications to say at such a time. May I further ask whether what we do in India is correct. The widow remains in a room throughout her waiting period, never leaving the house. She must wear only white and remove all her jewelry. What is the Islamic view of this?
F. Jabbar, Buraidah
A. If a person is ill and able to speak and give instructions, he is reminded that he should seek God’s forgiveness, repent of his sins, repay anything that he owes to anyone, whether material or not, and write a will if he has not done so. If he is dying, people could sit by his bedside, trying to get him to say “There is no deity other than God,” and make it the last thing he says. If the person concerned speaks to request something, then he or she should be told to say that sentence again. People should not gather around him, or ask him to say anything other than this simple sentence, making it the last thing he utters. One of them should recite Surah 36, Ya Sin, and the first surah, Al-Fatihah. People should ensure that he is comfortable and give him little sips of water to wet his lips and throat. When death becomes certain, he should be turned toward the Qiblah, his eyes closed and his lower jaw tied. People should request God to forgive him and he should be prepared for burial as soon as possible, after offering the prayer for the deceased, or janazah.
A woman may observe mourning for her husband for four months and ten days, which is the length of her waiting period. Unfortunately, in many societies women are put under certain restrictions in this period, but these have no Islamic basis. Islamic teachings make it clear that during this period, the widow cannot marry another man, and may not be asked to leave her husband’s home.
She is entitled to her living expenses. This is all right. But in some societies, widows are subjected to severe restrictions, such as those mentioned by the reader. It is not true that a woman should not leave her home, or her room throughout this period. A woman asked the Prophet whether she could go to her farm during her waiting period, so as to attend to her business.
The Prophet told her to go there, because “you may give something to charity or do something good.” This means that a working woman could attend to her work during her waiting period.
A few women came to the Prophet and complained that they were finding things difficult after the death of their husbands. They asked whether they could stay together in the home of one of them.
The Prophet said to them that they could meet during the day “when you can discuss what you want, but in the evening, each of you should go home where she should stay the night.” So he allowed them to meet during the day, but at night, each should be in her home. The advantage of preventing gossip about her conduct is obvious. Needless to say, the Prophet’s instruction means that a woman could not initiate travel when she is in her waiting period.
The color of clothes is another restriction that has no basis. In some countries black and grey are the colors preferred for mourning, while in others it is white. This is a social value that has no Islamic background.
Times When Prayer Is Discouraged
Q. When reading the Qur’an, there are verses which require that a prostration, or sujood, should be performed. But could this be done at the times when prayers are not allowed? Could you explain when are these times?
M. Khan
A. There are certain periods when voluntary prayer is discouraged. It is wrong to say that it is not allowed. When we speak of something being discouraged, we mean that it is better left out. These periods are: 1) after one has prayed Fajr, or dawn prayer, until the sun has risen well into the sky, i.e. about 25 minutes after sunrise; 2) after one has prayed Asr, or mid-afternoon prayer until sunset; and 3) when the sun is at its highest point in the sky, i.e. a few minutes before Zuhr, or noon prayer becomes due. This is due to the fact that the sun was worshipped by certain communities. Therefore, Islam discourages prayer at these times so that Islamic worship is not mistakenly thought to have anything to do with the movement of the sun.
What applies to voluntary prayers also applies to prostration and the 14 verses where it is recommended. If you are reading the Qur’an at these times and you come across such a point, it is preferable not to do your prostration, because of the restriction. Besides, doing the prostration is a Sunnah, anyway.
Pleasing God and Fulfillment of Wishes
Q.1. What should we do to please God so that He would give us what we hope to have: Good wives, bright children, sincere friends, good employees and mates?
Q.2. When does zakah on income from rent become due, and how to calculate it? Can we spend it on the education of our employees’ children?
Shuja Khan
A.1. An important point in the Islamic concept of life and religion is that we do not bargain with God, trying to do things in order that our wishes or desires are fulfilled. We have to remember that our whole world and all that it contains is worth nothing in God’s sight. A sacred or Qudsi Hadith quotes God as saying: “My servants! If the first of you and the last of you, and the human among you and the jinn among you were to gather together in one plane and pray Me for whatever they want, and I give each one of them everything they ask for, this will not decrease My Kingdom except in as much as a needle takes out of the ocean when dipped in it once.” Hence, God gives of the good things of this world to believers and unbelievers alike. His gifts in the life to come, however, are made only to those who believe, and associate with Him no partners. Whatever He gives us remains a form of a test, as this whole life is. We have to redeem ourselves through this test.
When we realize this, we will know that the whole idea of pleasing God in order to get our wishes is not really Islamic. It is not like human relations whereby you do someone a favor hoping that it will be returned. God needs nothing from us. Even our worship does not benefit Him. It benefits us, making us better people. However, we are always in need of God’s grace. Therefore, we must pray Him to grant us what we need. It is best that our prayers should be preceded by a good action, so that when we pray Him, we are humble, knowing our position in relation to God. We can pray Him for whatever we need, and He will answer. However, He chooses what is best for us. He either answers our prayers as they are or gives us something better, or else, He reserves it till the life to come when He rewards us for our requests very generously that we would wish He did not answer a single prayer we said in this life.
A.2. Zakah is due on the net income of rented property, after deducting all expenses incurred. The rent is added to one’s zakah liability and zakah is paid out on a person’s zakah date at the rate of 2.5 percent, unless he has monies that bear a higher rate. You may pay your zakah to meet the education expenses of a poor student, but the student or his parents should qualify as zakah beneficiaries. It is better to give your employees a decent wage so as to live comfortably than to give them a small wage and then help them with zakah funds.
