Q. Could you please explain what restrictions apply to a woman after the death of her husband? In my hometown in India, a woman in this situation is told to stay in one room in her home, not leaving the house at all, and to wear only white garments, and not to use any jewelry. What is the Islamic view on this? Could you also explain what should be done when a person is clearly about to die.
F. Jabbar, Buraidah
A. When a woman becomes a widow, she has to observe certain rules. The first and most important one is that she has to observe a waiting period lasting normally for four months and ten days, unless she is pregnant, when her waiting lasts until she gives birth, whether this happens earlier or later than the normal time. During this period, a widow resides in her home, which is her deceased husband’s home. She is not allowed to get married again until her waiting period is over. She stays at home unless she needs to go out to work or to manage her affairs, but she must stay at night in her home. She does not wear perfume and must avoid using make up, jewelry or clothes that are intended for giving her an especially attractive appearance. There is no restriction on color except in this way.
Unfortunately, traditions in different countries have imposed other restrictions which Islam does not require. One of these is the color of clothes she is allowed to wear. In your part of the world, it is white while in some Arab countries it is black. Any normal color, which is not meant to be eye-catching, is appropriate. In most Muslim countries, restrictions on a widow’s going out are made very strict, with some communities not allowing the woman anywhere in her home except one room. This is not the Islamic way. A widow asked the Prophet whether she could attend to her farm, because her relatives would not allow her to do so. The Prophet told her to attend to it, for ‘you might give something to charity or do something good.’
When a person is clearly about to die, some of his relatives should stay with him, reading Surah 36, Ya Seen, or other parts of the Qur’an. One of them should tell him to say: La ilaha illa Allah, which means “There is no deity other than God,” making it the last thing that person says. In other words, if he says it once, then he says something else, such as requesting a glass of water or something else, then he should be reminded to say it again. People should pray for the dying person so that God may lighten his pain and make his passage into the next life easy.
Is Life Cut Short by Committing Sin?
Q. Could you please explain whether a man’s life may be cut short, so as to let him die before the time originally determined by God. I heard that this happens in three situations: 1) If he vows never to repeat a sin he has made, yet he repeats it; 2) If his wife angers her mother and the mother prays God to take the daughter’s strongest support; and 3) If he breaks his wife’s heart without reasonable cause. Please comment.
(Name and address withheld)
A. The important point to realize in considering this question relates to God’s knowledge. We have to remember that His knowledge is perfect. He knows everything regardless of time. So, something that has not happened yet is known to Him in the same way as something that has just happened a moment ago, or one that took place a million years ago. To God, it is all the same. Hence, when He determines the duration of anyone’s life, He is aware of everything that takes place in that person’s life before he or she is born. This means that God knows in advance whether this person will not be true to his vows, or whether he abuses his wife causing her great mental or physical pain, or whether his mother-in-law will pray God to punish his wife. When we consider all this we realize that the whole point of cutting a certain person’s life short as a result of an event collapses.
We have to remember that this life is a test and everyone proves himself as worthy of reward or punishment. So, in the first example, a person who repeatedly breaks His promise to God is saved from a repeat if his life is ended. It can be argued that his immediate punishment should be to prolong his life so as to let him do more sins, thus increasing his punishment in the life to come.
From another point of view, why would God end someone’s life as a result of his repeated sins when our sins do not affect God in the least. He says in a sacred Hadith: “Had the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you been as wicked as the most wicked person ever, this would not decrease My kingdom in anyway.”
The second example is even more ridiculous, because it supposes that God will punish a woman by taking her husband away as a result of her mother’s prayer. If this is a punishment to the man, he was not the guilty party. If it is to the woman, why her husband should be affected? The whole point does not stand. If a man abuses his wife and she prays God against him, God may answer her prayers immediately, or He may defer that. But this again would not be shortening the man’s life, as God might have originally decided that He would end the man’s life as a result of her prayer. Having said all this, I wish to remind you that God’s will is free. He may decide at any time to change something, or to bring something into being at any time of His choosing.
