DHAHRAN, 20 March 2005 — Increasingly hectic modern lifestyles, working mothers and changing role models are just some of the factors encouraging fathers to become more involved in their children’s lives. There is no doubt that a father’s positive influence is important to children’s social, emotional and intellectual development. For decades much research has been done into the importance of the mother’s role in the family. However, in recent years studies have been conducted on the role that fathers play in family life. Social scientists now agree that while the mother and father interact with their children in different ways, their roles are not interchangeable and each makes their own contribution to their children’s development.
An Ohio State University Fact Sheet on the “Father’s Role” asserts that according to many different studies, the paternal impacts on children are numerous and include:
• Fathers who are more involved in infant care giving have infants with greater cognitive development at one year of age than fathers who are less involved in infant care giving.
• Fathers who are very involved with their preschool children help foster the children’s verbal ability and a sense of being in charge of his/her fate.
• A father’s involvement is related to self-esteem in children. Those fathers who were more affectionate and spent time with their children contributed positively to the self-esteem of their children.
• Fathers who value education have children who do better in school than those fathers who do not value education.
• There is a direct relationship between children’s reading levels and the amount they see their fathers reading in the home.
To emphasize the valuable roles that fathers fill in their children’s lives, each year Dhahran Elementary/Middle School (DEMS) hosts a “Dads and Donuts” morning. This year dozens of fathers arrived at the school at the early hour of 7:30 a.m. to sit with their children, eat pastries donated by Saudi Catering & Contracting and listen to what their youngsters had to say. It was apparent that all the children were extremely happy to see their fathers at school. Loving embraces, excited chatter and broad smiles were the primary features of this event.
Jim Morcom, the father of two boys, Chriony in fourth grade and Christopher in first grade, made time to come and eat donuts with his sons. He believes that nowadays dads play a very vital role in both their children’s education and the family overall.
“I think we learn as much as the kids do from all the things they are learning, that we didn’t learn when we were in school,” said Morcom. “They seem much more advanced than we were. I think it is important to get over the idea that dad just goes to work and comes back from work. Kids need to realize that dads are as much a part of the family as moms are. The role of dads is evolving and changing these days. After work I don’t just sit on the sofa and watch TV all night. My sons bring me their homework and we do it together. I share this responsibility with my wife Dolores. Doing homework together creates a family atmosphere and shows that everyone is involved and working with and for each other.”
Mark Chamberlain hails from New Zealand and teaches at the school. He came out to the event to share a light moment with his daughters who are students at DEMS. As both a father and a parent, he has seen the direct outcomes of fathers’ interaction with their children.
“The students who do well are the ones who have dads who are involved, both parents actually,” Chamberlain commented. “The success of children is closely linked to that. Boys get a lot of affirmation from their moms but getting it from their dads is really precious and has a lot more impact sometimes.”
It was quite surprising to see so many dads able to attend a morning event at school. Part of the credit for that goes to some employers who are now more accommodating of family’s needs.
“I do have to go to work in a little while but the company I work for realizes that attending this function at school is very important for my family,” said Zaki Bakhteyar. “I was sitting here thinking that my father used to work 8 to 2 and then have lunch at home with the family everyday. For us it’s different. In this competitive environment we work until late in the evening. So whatever time we can share with the kids we make the most of it. Many days by the time we get home the kids are almost asleep and we don’t get to see them much. Time with the family is precious. In the past it used to be the wife who took care of the kids but now more fathers are getting involved with their children right from the beginning and that’s a good thing.”
Fathers hopes, plans and dreams for their children are growing as their role in family life increases.
Nasim Haider was at the event to be with his son Shabab, a student in third grade. Born in Bangladesh, one of the world’s poorest nations, Haider stated that his education and his son’s education couldn’t be more different.
“Just look around, there’s a lot of technology everywhere and it’s easy for a child to get isolated and detached from the family,” Haider remarked. “So you have to keep coming into his life actively. Not to stop a child from using the technology but just to see how things are going. It’s important to share your experiences with your child but within his context and age appropriately. My son and I, we talk about everything — school, friends, whatever. I kind of routinely ask him about his day. What I always remember is that just sending him to a good school will not ensure that he succeeds in life. It’s essential to keep trying, keep pushing and keep working hard for success in life. A father can be a good example for that.”
