JEDDAH, 17 October 2006 — With the sole breadwinner for the family in jail over sexual abuse allegations, his wife and children are left to the mercy of charities and kind-hearted people.
As the man is behind bars awaiting a trial in connection with charges he sexually abused his oldest daughter, charges he has reportedly confessed to, the family’s life has been made a living hell.
Thanks to the system, the family is unable to access the father’s financial assets. The wife and daughter cannot work without permission from the accused man, their legal mahram (male guardian). The relatives of the family are staying away from the torn-apart family due to the scandalous accusations. The landlord wants them out of his building within a month.
According to the allegations, the daughter, now 22, has been a victim of her father’s deviant sexual behavior since she was three. She claims her father raped her when she was 13. The mother says she felt powerless to do anything about the crimes because her family didn’t believe her allegations and suspicions. (The identity of the family is being withheld due to the nature of the crime.)
A few months ago, a maternal uncle of the mother took them to the police to file a sexual assault case. Under pressure and interrogation, the father admitted his crime.
The daughter, who dropped out of college due to all the stress and abuse she suffered, has now enrolled in a computer and English course at a training center with the help of some individuals. In time, she hopes she can find employment.
The mother is trying to get all the assistance she can from charity organizations, but in the end very little has been given. “Eid is around the corner and I really want to buy a few things for the children,” said the mother of four, three girls and a teenage boy.
Some generous people have paid the back rent for the past few months and ahead until next month, but the landlord said he would evict he family afterward without a guarantee for future rent payments. Fortunately, a kind-hearted person has found them another flat and is offering help in getting them moved in.
According to a local doctor and activist in sexual abuse cases, it’s good for the family to relocate. “Actually it is much better for them to move to another place because of all the negative memories and associations with the current place,” said Dr. Sara Abbar.
It would be better, said Dr. Abbar, if there was an established and effective process in Saudi Arabia for handling domestic violence cases. “This is what I mean when I say we need a strategic work plan to help abuse victims turn their lives around. Instead of letting them continue suffering in silence or drown after they have taken that first courageous step of filing a case, there should be a clear program for helping them socially, psychologically and financially,” she said.
In terms of accessing the accused man’s bank account, a lawyer says the only recourse for the family is to petition directly to the top. “The only thing they can do to access his money is to send a letter to the provincial governor explaining the situation and asking him to permit them to access the account,” said lawyer Nasser Al-Dandani.
As long as the father is in jail, his family cannot access his account or sell any of his property without his permission. Because he was a government employee, the bureaucracy will have to decide if his wife is entitled to his termination payment and pension money.
“It is up to the Civil Services Department, once a sentencing is issued, to determine whether to end his services and give the family an end-of-service or retirement money,” said Al-Dandani.
These kinds of cases usually take a few months and more than one judge would consider the sentencing. “He deserves to be stoned to death, as in adultery cases, but there is no specific sentence for sexual assault, so it is up to the judge’s discretion and opinion based on the evidence,” said Al-Dandani.
In similar cases, fathers have been sentenced five to fifteen years in prison. There are no laws in place that automatically revoke a father’s custody of children — even if the father turns out to be an incestuous rapist.
