JEDDAH: How do we protect our children from sexual abuse?
According to child psychiatrist Dr. Saad Al-Khatieb, step one involves educating children at an early age about inappropriate physical contact, or as he calls it: the difference between “good touching and bad touching.”
“Sexual predators may tempt or trick a child with sweets or gifts, or tell them lies like ‘I want to take you to the amusement park’ and then take the child to an isolated place to molest or rape them,” said the doctor.
But telling our children not to talk to strangers is not enough, he pointed out, because so often the predator is a close relative, an uncle or aunt, as well as others who have close contact to the family, like a driver, a maid or the neighborhood grocer.
“Or even the teacher,” he added.
“Tell your child if the teacher brings a gift for the entire class it’s OK to accept, but if the gift is just for this particular boy then there is reason for suspicion… it’s OK to go to the teacher’s office with a group of other children but not alone.”
The specialist also suggests explaining to children about kissing and other sexual behaviors they might have seen on television or elsewhere.
“Telling the children that it’s not OK to let anyone ‘cinema kiss’ them is a smart way to make them aware,” the specialist said.
He also recommends parents teach their children that masturbation is wrong because it puts them at risk of becoming sexualized at an early age. “If you see the child touching his or her private parts tell them that they are gifts for the future bride or groom and that no one should touch them until they grow up and get married,” he said.
“This may be awkward but the fact is children are at risk of being sexually abused, so making them understand this in a simple way is an effective measure.”
Al-Khatieb also recommends that parents watch for signs of sexual abuse, such as bloody stool or touching private parts.
Emotional signs might include a sudden drop in academic performance or a tendency to avoid a certain relative.
“Sadly sometimes the parents may not understand why a child doesn’t want to be near a certain uncle or aunt,” he said.
“The child may be getting sexually abused by that person and you’ll find the parents forcing their children to be polite and obedient to that person because they respect that person and don’t suspect. Most children don’t know how to speak out and explain.”
Also, parents should not dismiss any claims by their children. “Children never imagine being sexually abused, they can imagine a plane falling from the sky, but not the grocer pouncing on them or touching their private parts.”
The doctor said that boys are more likely to be sexual abuse victims and risk growing up to be sexual abusers themselves.
“When we treat victims of sexual abuse the first thing we tell them is that it is not their fault. They are the victims.”
