Recently a young Pakistani boy named Rizwan Akram escaped from home in a bid to avoid facing punishment following his performance at an exam. “He was afraid to face his math exam,” Mohammed Akram, the boy’s father, told Arab News.
It is a pervasive syndrome predominantly among foreigners in the Kingdom that has led children to take drastic and even dangerous measures to avoid punishment at home.
Raza Abbas, a Pakistani father, told Arab News, “Pressure is for their own benefit so that they do well. They will face consequences if they do not deliver, how else are they expected to learn? We just want the best for our children.”
Sultan Hamdan, a 21-year-old Saudi, feels expatriate children in Saudi Arabia feel the heat more than the locals. “I went to a public school and our top scoring students were Syrians, Palestinians and Egyptians. Because if they did not score 99 percent, they knew what they were in for big trouble at home.”
A British teacher in Jeddah, who chose to remain anonymous, admitted most of her Egyptian students were expected to get an A grade and nothing less.
“Parents do not want to settle for anything less, a B means you are grounded for months and until you get an A you are an outcast. I think it has to do more with competition back home as well. With the Indian students, they have a comparative advantage back home with the normal churnout to be 99 percent and that is a little incredible,” she said.
“Parents do not realize each child has their own potential and talent. I know children get abused and what is unfortunate is that it may help you get an A but it breaks your child. Most of my students studying medicine are doing it because of parental pressure.”
Reham Abbas, 24, who studied at an international school in Jeddah, recalls being physically punished in school as a child. “Once I scored a bad grade and forgot to take my textbook to school the next day, and my teacher slapped me point blank. I know it happens in Pakistan a lot more, but you would expect a system here that is stronger and more civilized.”
Hamza Ahmad, 25, recalls his teacher in an Indian school in Jeddah as being horrific. “We used to get our knuckles and fists smacked by long, heavy metal rulers if we talked in class or if you failed a test. It was horrible. We should be able to sue the schools for physical abuse. The public humiliation was extremely poignant.”
Usual punishments by parents less severe in nature include taking phones away, a no-Internet policy, taking away special privileges and grounding children. However, Wafa Taher told Arab News, “Most Saudi kids are not spared these punishments. I know my Asian friends have been whacked at least once because of studies but rarely has anyone studied more to become better. We all do it so we can avoid parental abuse.”
Jalal Ather, 27, recalls his father using shoes, furniture and his hands to punish him. “I know at that point I hated him, but if he had not been strict with me I would never learn. It did not work out too well. I used to run away from home with no idea where to go so I had to come back.”
“If my son told me he failed, rather than hide the fact, I would accept it because failure is only normal,” Mohammed Iqbal, a 45-year-old Saudi father, told Arab News. “Poor Rizwan, the boy was vulnerable and in danger. He must be scared out of his mind to run away from home just because of his exam. Parents need to practice calm and be tolerant.”
Hana Khan, an Indian mother, feels it is OK to fail as long as children learn from their mistakes. “It is not a grave sin, parents make it out to be bigger than it is and that will have repercussions in the long term. In 2006 in India, 5,857 students committed suicide due to exam stress.”
