However, marriage rules have undergone several changes over the years. Aside from marriage of convenience, which has become a trend, marriages between a man and a woman of different cultures have also been taking place.
Naturally, differences in culture affect the relationship, but not in a way that the couple would separate. As actor-director Clint Eastwood said, “A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learn to enjoy their differences.”
A typical example of an intercultural marriage is that of a former Canadian ambassador in the Kingdom and a Japanese woman. As far as Saudi nationals are concerned, they have also married women of different nationalities. Take the case of Ibrahim Wasfy, a Saudi cardiologist at Dr. Habib Suliman Hospital in Riyadh, who received his medical degree from a university in Alexandria, Egypt, and also attended a university in London for a post-doctoral course.
Wasfy is married to a Filipino clinical instructor at the Security Forces Hospital. His wife, the former Praxedes (now Iman) Ramos, is from Batangas City, south of Manila. The two, who have five grown-up children, first met at the Hamad Medical Corporation in Doha, Qatar, some 28 years ago. The young Wasfy was a cardiologist, while Ramos was a nurse. Not longer after, love bloomed between them and they got married. They decided to leave for Riyadh and worked at the Security Forces Hospital for a long time. A few years back, Ibrahim transferred to the Dr. Habib Suliman Hospital.
“It is normal for a husband and wife to have differences in opinion, but in the end, my parents try to iron out whatever they don't agree on,” said Hytham Ibrahim Wasfy, one of their sons who organizes events like soccer and basketball tournaments and currently takes up a course in IT.
Another Saudi married to a Filipino is Khaled Al-Harequi of Al-Rass in Qassim. He is married to Lina Yerro, who works at the Al-Rass General Hospital and comes from Numancia town in Aklan, Philippines. They have three grown-up kids, two girls and a boy, who are studying in Qassim and speak Tagalog, Arabic and English.
Asked what he could say about his wife, Al-Harequi said that being married to her had been a great experience. “She understands the Saudi culture. She is also caring, understanding, and looks after my needs as well as those of our three grown-up children,” he said.
Al-Harequi and Yerro met when she was working at Buraidah General Hospital as a nurse. “A teacher by profession, Khaled and I started a family in Al-Rass,” related Yerro, who had earlier worked as a head nurse at King Fahd Hospital in Buraidah.
A few years back, they built an imposing two-story house in Al-Rass. They have also started a number of business ventures managed by Yerro. They have clothes and beauty shops as well as a fishpond just outside Al-Rass.
Grateful for the blessings she and her family have been enjoying, they have also employed Filipinos in their business ventures.
“It is one way of fulfilling my obligation as a Filipino national. I am lucky that my husband supports me in the things I have done, like starting our clothes and beauty shops,” Yerro said.
She added that the family had taken vacations in different countries like the UAE, Singapore, Thailand, and the Philippines. “I can't ask for more. Allah has been very good to us,” she commented, telling she first arrived in the Kingdom in 1979.
For Sudanese Adil Osman Eishiger, a planning manager at Zaid Alhussain Group, marrying a non-Sudanese lady was out of the question. He came to Saudi Arabia in 1981 “by accident” to work for Zaid Alhussain Group in Riyadh Zoo.
He started as one of the pioneer workers at the zoo, but he got promoted because of his hard work and knowledge of landscaping. He is now the operations manager and also manages other projects for his company in Riyadh and other parts of the Kingdom.
On the circumstances regarding his decision to come to Riyadh, he said a recruiter-friend had suggested him to try to work in Saudi Arabia. When he arrived in Riyadh, he liked his job, which has since taken up most of his time. After ten years, he fell in love with a 27-year-old Filipino woman, Erma Abelon, who had been working as a saleswoman in the gift shop inside the zoo for nearly three years. There were only two weeks left in her contract when Eishiger started visiting the gift shop and eventually wrote her a letter disclosing his feelings for her. “Cell phones were nearly a decade more into the future, so I replied by writing him a letter. I told him that if he was sincere in his intentions for me, he should follow me to the Philippines,” Abelon said.
Three weeks later, Adil set foot at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport in the Philippines. Erma was there to meet him.
“I converted to Islam and changed my name from Erma to Eman. We married at a mosque in Manila,” she said. Some 18 years later, they have four grown-up daughters, who are all studying in Riyadh.
“I was not planning to marry a Muslim man. However, if one of my kids wishes to marry a non-Muslim man, our wish is that he converts to Islam,” she said.
Asked about her family life, she said, “I have no complaints. My husband is not only nice and understanding, but also a good provider. During our marriage, I was also able to build a house in Tarlac City, which is now being rented out,” she said.
For 57-year-old Jordanian Adeed Assaf, marrying a woman of a different nationality has been a memorable experience. Aside from a meaningful marriage that has yielded two kids, he draws strength from his wife, who was endowed with a strong character. Assaf was working for the Jordanian Embassy in Doha when he met the late Cres Abudo, who was then an assistant director of nursing at Hamad Medical Corporation in Doha.
“My father told me that strength of character was one of the qualities he liked in my mother. Early on, she was a great source of inspiration for him,” said Deena, one of Assaf’s daughters and a programmer married to Thamer, an electronics engineer in Riyadh.
She continued, “I can say that they have had a happy life. Whenever they had time, they travelled together to the Philippines and other countries.”
According to Deena, her father met her mother at a bowling center. “My father knew the bowling organizer and used to be invited to watch the bowling games my would-be mother played with her team,” she said.
Not long after, the diplomat proposed to Cres and she answered yes. They got married in Bauang in the Philippines.
Deena concluded that although her parents came from two different cultures “they must have been in love with each other, because their marriage lasted all these years.”
