“I am in my 20s and have been through arguably the most painful experience in a woman’s life,” a young woman recently wrote to me. “I mean a divorce and thank God I came out of it rather unscathed. Though the marriage was of a very short duration the experience cast me into a state of utter frustration and made me confine myself to my bedroom for some time. I sensed and experienced at first hand the full impact of the sweeping hatred attached to the word ‘divorced woman.’ It attached a lifelong stigma signifying injustice, deception, deprivation and denial. The ignorant Eastern societies view a divorced woman as though she carries a contagious disease which people fear to contract if they came near her. Doesn’t society know that a divorced woman requires more care and protection than other members of society. I always sense a hint of blame in the tone of those who interact with me. A divorced woman is deprived of her rights, will power and individuality. Her status is no different from a goat that is sold and bought at markets and lives at any place to where its owner takes it. Why this unfair treatment?”
The answer to the question is not very simple. Despite a little exaggeration in your estimation of society’s attitude toward the divorced woman it contains the painful fact that the woman bears responsibility for the failure of a marriage. Statistical studies have confirmed that the man’s attitude is a major factor in every divorce. A woman can never demand a divorce unless she loses all hope of mending her relation with the man. On the other hand, for men it is very easy to divorce. People in the East despise divorcees and it is unfair from the woman’s angle. Perhaps your bold protests will help in doing away with the injustice and make society rethink its attitude toward divorced women who badly need its reassurance and not its curses.
At the height of 3,000 meters above sea level in the Himalayas on the borders of China and Tibet there lives a community called Mosoto, which is ruled by women only. Only women are entitled to own land and other properties. It is the women that plan and arrange the daily life. They take decisions on important matters in addition to rearing children without depending on their menfolk. This community’s practices are in stark contrast with some nearby Chinese tribes who take steps to get rid of female babies at the time of birth because the people believe that girls are a burden on the family with no financial returns.
The community does not give any importance to virginity and a girl is free to select a lover or husband the moment she attains the age of adulthood and also she has the right to leave him if it pleases her. If a woman divorces her husband he may visit his sons only at night and that too after getting permission from their mother. The man lives with his mother from his birth to death and offers blind obedience to her. Men have to undertake tough jobs such as construction, hunting and farming. It is the grandmother who is the chief of the family. She arranges the marriages of men and women in her family in a function usually held at 11 a.m. The menu consists mainly of fish, chicken and other varieties of meat. While the bride welcomes the guests the bridegroom silently withdraws to some corner unnoticed. No one is bothered about his presence. Anthropologists attribute the female domination in this community to a period of time when the men used to work as shepherds, travelers, monks or soldiers away in battlefields.
The tribes are now at the brink of extinction. Tourists flock to this region with the aim of witnessing the bizarre customs. More strange is that some females have started voicing protests saying that they are undertaking some difficult tasks while men spend their time idly. The women of new generation demand that men should undertake the difficult work and roles. On the other hand, men complain as tourists keep on telling them that men elsewhere are enjoying unlimited freedom and influence and they alone have the right to make the final decisions in any matter.
“Baby Einstein” is the title of a set of educational videos designed specifically to give babies in their first year in order to open their minds to receive new experiences later in their life. The company which promotes the programs assures us that these videos are essential for the mental development of the baby. The program makes it easy for the small child to learn foreign languages and acquire new skills, said company officials.
The first video cassette is designed for babies between one month and 18 months. It shows matching models, figures and lines. It also includes some cartoons. In addition, the cassette has songs for children which teach the alphabet and basic numbers in different languages, such as German, Japanese, Spanish, French and three others.
The cassette is accompanied by a brochure explaining that this cassette is not basically to teach children foreign languages but to give them a valuable opportunity to succeed when they start learning foreign languages later.
Julie Clark, founder of the company, said her five-year-old daughter started to learn Japanese after she had learned four other languages. When the baby reaches the age of one year, he will move to another stage, called “Baby Shakespeare”. Here the child reads lines from Shakespeare’s plays.
Peter Willatz, a specialist in children’s psychological growth, has warned that these videos are of no use and the attempt to teach a child different languages could prevent his acquiring other branches of knowledge. However, the company is expecting a big increase in worldwide sales of these programs.