Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation that requires an apology. We may say or do something that gives offense to another person, or we may omit to do something that is expected. It may often be through lack of concentration, or preoccupation with something important that our omission or commission takes place. We should never be reluctant to offer a suitable apology or an explanation so that our action, or lack of it, should not have an adverse effect on our relation with the person concerned.
Yet it is often the case that people find it difficult to apologize or even offer an explanation. They feel that offering an apology is degrading. The higher one’s position, the more difficult it is for him to apologize. Yet this should not be the case, because we are all human, and human beings often make mistakes. Nothing helps to reduce the effects of a mistake more than an explanation that makes it clear that no offense is intended. No one occupies a higher position than the Prophet (peace be upon him), the last of God’s messengers. Yet he was always ready to offer an apology or an explanation when an action of his could upset any of his companions. That the affected companion is young or of a lowly status never stopped the Prophet from offering an explanation or apology.
Jabir ibn Abdullah was a young companion of the Prophet. He reports: “God’s Messenger sent me on an errand, and I proceeded to do it. When it was over, I came back to him, and offered a greeting, but he did not reply to my greeting. I felt very bad in my heart. I thought that the Prophet might have been upset because I have been slow, and this might have been the cause for him not replying to my greeting. This made me feel even worse. A while later, I offered a greeting to him once more and he replied to me. Then he said: ‘What stopped me from replying to your first greeting was that I was in the middle of my prayer.’” (Related by al-Bukhari, Muslim and Ahmad).
We note first how the Prophet’s companions were very sensitive to every gesture, word, or reaction the Prophet shows. They always wanted him to be pleased with them. If they detected any sign of displeasure, they would examine their own behavior, trying to find out what could have been the reason. Here we see Jabir feeling sad when the Prophet did not answer his greeting. He thought that he might have taken too long over the business the Prophet wanted him to attend to. He began to blame himself and felt miserable. But then the matter was cleared. He got the right response to his second greeting, and with it an explanation by the Prophet who stated that he was praying.
The question might arise here: Why did not Jabir realize that the Prophet was engaged in his prayer? This is a valid question, because a person in prayer is easily recognized as he bows or prostrates himself. But in this case, the Prophet was praying while he was riding his she-camel. In this situation, when a person might offer voluntary prayers only, he gestures the movements of prayer with his head, and he does not have to face the qiblah or the normal direction of prayer. Hence, Jabir did not recognize what preoccupied the Prophet. The explanation was necessary, and the Prophet immediately offered it.
Al-Saab ibn Jaththamah Al-Laythi, a companion of the Prophet, reports that he once gave a zebra as a gift to the Prophet when he was at a place called Al-Abwa’ or Waddan, but the Prophet returned his gift. “When the Prophet noticed how my face changed, he said to me: ‘We have only returned your gift because we are in the state of consecration.’” (Related by Malik, Muslim, Ahmad, Al-Nassaie, Al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)
This is another highly authentic Hadith that mentions how one of the Prophet’s companions felt upset at having his gift returned. In Islam, a gift must not be returned unless there is a valid reason for that, such as when a gift is given in order to gain an unfair advantage. In this case, it becomes akin to a bribe. But nobody could have ever thought of gaining an unfair advantage with the Prophet, because he was the most fair of people. Hence, Al-Saab felt sad at having his gift returned. The Prophet immediately explained that he was in the state of consecration, or ihraam. This is the state in which we enter when we travel for Umrah or pilgrimage. The Prophet was apparently on such travel, as the gift was given to him at a village near Makkah. When one is in the state of consecration, it is forbidden for him to hunt or kill any game. It is also forbidden for him to eat the meat of any animal or bird killed by a hunter, even though the hunter is not in the state of consecration at the time of capturing the animal or killing it. Therefore, the Prophet had no option but to return the gift. His explanation removed the ill feeling that his companion felt at having his gift returned.
A similar situation was that in which Al-Muhajir ibn Qunfudh, a companion of the Prophet, found himself. He reports that he went to the Prophet, but the Prophet was urinating. Yet Al-Muhajir greeted him but the Prophet did not answer his greeting until he had finished and performed his ablution. He then apologized to Al-Muhajir, explaining: “I did not like to mention God’s name until I had had my ablutions.” (Related by Al-Nassaie, Abu Dawood and Ibn Majah).
The Islamic greeting uses God’s name in both situations of offering the greeting and replying to it. The word “salam”, which is the basic word in the Islamic greeting, means “peace”, but it is also one of God’s names and attributes. But in reply we are always encouraged to give a better greeting. Hence, we add “wa rahmatullah”, which means “God’s grace”. This is exactly what the Prophet did not wish to utter until he had completed his ablutions. It is recommended to perform the ablutions before mentioning God’s name or glorifying Him. The Islamic greeting is a form of supplication, and the Prophet explained that he preferred to complete the ablution before he returned the man’s greeting.