MAKKAH, 24 August 2007 — In traditional Muslim households, husbands are the ones that are responsible for the financial upkeep of a home. However, some Saudi women, coerced by manipulative husbands, are forced to use their own money to pay for household expenses. Arab News spoke to several women, who have faced difficulties in their marriages.

“My husband used to always complain about his work and colleagues, and one day he told me he wanted to resign. Initially I didn’t object. I thought he was going to search for another job, but he didn’t,” said Fatima, a Saudi housewife. She added that her husband prefers to remain unemployed.

After some time, Fatima’s husband refused to meet basic household expenses, something that resulted in husband and wife constantly arguing. “I want to provide my children with a healthy atmosphere to grow up in. One in which their parents are not always arguing. I finally succeeded in buying a house and I got rid of the house rent, which I was paying on a monthly basis. Then I decided to file for a divorce,” she said.

“He was about to lose his only source of income and so our families got together again to sort out the problem. I agreed on one condition that we let the driver go and that my husband works instead as the family driver,” she said, adding, “He accepted the proposal. He prefers being a driver than finding a job, and so we came back together.”

Sheikha, a Saudi housewife, married when she was young. She had also not completed her education. “I don’t have a private income to help fulfill my kids’ needs. My husband hasn’t had a job ever since we married. He searched a lot for a job but couldn’t find a suitable one. He does nothing at all,” she said, adding that now her husband feels comfortable being unemployed.

“All that he does is wake up in the morning and ask for food. We rely on handouts from our relatives. Some days we go by without food,” she said, adding that her husband sees all this and has no sense of responsibility.

“My husband only knows to talk by using his fists. He beats the children and me. He’s previously broken my pelvic, which has caused me problems for years. I thought about divorce several times but I don’t want to because of the kids,” she said.

Ghada is another woman whose husband has manipulated her throughout their married life. Now hoping to secure a divorce, she told Arab News, “I was married to a man with no ethics and who was an alcoholic. He would always be drunk and turned my house into a club for his friends.”

One day Ghada’s husband’s friends attacked her while being drunk. “I rushed to my room and locked the door. I thank God I did this, otherwise it would have been a disaster. I then took my children and went to live with my family. I stayed there besides them and got out of this nightmare I was living in.”

Umm Raghda, a mother of four children, said: “I suffered for a long time on account of my husband’s bad behavior. During our marriage he married several times to other women. I carried on for the sake of my kids. In the last few years, especially after the delivery of my fourth child, he began treating me even worse.”

Umm Raghda’s husband became a drug addict and would even bring prostitutes to the family home. “He also began to tease me by bringing prostitutes into the house and would spend time with them in front of me. I tried to consult his brother. He just ignored me. In the end I consulted a religious relative of his. He was a nice man and deeply concerned like all religious people. However, my husband accused him of trying to have an illegal relationship with me. So he backed off,” she said.

“He spent all his money on alcohol and drugs to the extent that I didn’t even have money to buy milk for the baby. I turned to charity organizations to help buy essential items. Then I decided to leave him, but he threatened to take the children from me. But still I filed a divorce lawsuit. The court hasn’t’ made a decision yet. I’m still waiting,” she said.

Olaya, a mother of eight girls, said she became the third wife of an irreligious man dressed in the garb of the pious. “He was so nice to me at the beginning. I didn’t know he was actually manipulating me. I had bought some land to build a house before marrying him and he convinced me that it wasn’t right for me to deal directly with the workers and that I should appoint him as my proxy. I agreed,” she said.

However, after some time Olaya regretted the decision. “I found out that he had assumed himself as the sole owner of everything and was demanding my salary, which is SR8,000, to pay to build the house,” said Olaya, who confronted her husband when she learned this.

“When I confronted him he didn’t deny anything. I asked for a divorce but he threatened to take my girls from me. So I gave up for the sake of my daughters,” she said, adding that her co-wives are also suffering in a similar fashion.