IZZATY Islamy (“Islam is my Dignity”), a girl’s social club in Jeddah, has released a DVD featuring interviews with young men on their views about the opposite sex and dating.
The series of interviews with the young Jeddawis, titled “Gurlz vs. Guyz”, was filmed in Jeddah and will be sold over Eid at select locations. The 12-minute long video was based on a yearlong survey. The 10-riyal DVD will be sold at the Basateen Shopping Center, Al-Tahlia Center, Coral Mall, Sultan Mall, Durrat Al-Arous and Crystal Beach Oct. 15-17.
Dating, in the conventional sense, is illegal in Saudi Arabia, but the video shows young men discussing their views of the young women with whom they interact. These informal (and in fact, technically illegal) dates usually involve a meal or coffee at a local restaurant whose family sections provide a rare public venue for young men and women to interact.
Perhaps because of the Saudi notion that “good girls” stay away from boys until they go through the social and religious customs that typically culminates with marriage, the boys in the video speak with distain about the girls they know, even denigrating them and generally saying they would never consider marrying these girls.
Girls in the Saudi society are under a more intense spotlight when it comes to their relationships with boys. The latter have more freedom in their lifestyle, as the video illustrates, and they are most of the times not blamed for engaging in relationships with girls. This disproportionate pressure on girls follows them into adulthood. The young men in the DVD were judgmental about the girls they know, but not of their own behavior, which is as much a violation of Saudi social standards.
The DVD of the interviews includes some findings from the survey showing that most of the boys interviewed would not consider marrying the girls they date and three out of four said the criteria for a wife is different than that of a girlfriend. Nearly half of the boys said they had a girlfriend by high school; three out of four said they hang out with more than one girl.
Izzaty Islamy is a two-year-old group that sponsors monthly discussions and has conducted debate events at Jeddah’s Dar Al-Hekma College (for women) and the International Medical Center.