As many women nowadays aspire to have successful careers, they think delaying marriage is a must. The question, however, remains whether it is fine to prefer a successful career to marriage.

Local newspapers have recently reported on the need for measures to stem the increasing numbers of single women in the Kingdom. According to some statistics, there are around 1.5 to two million spinsters in the Kingdom, a figure some specialists find alarming.

Despite globalization and modernization, many people in Saudi society follow traditions and norms — young Saudi men and women do not find partners themselves. A typical Saudi woman would just have to wait until a suitor comes knocking on her door.

One local newspaper recently published a report about a Saudi woman who contacted it asking for details of matchmakers who could help her marry off her six beautiful, educated and well-off daughters. The report added that the girls were unmarried because, in a society that relies on the services of matchmakers, no one knew about them.

Fatima Bahri, a 30-year-old teacher, said she is unafraid of spinsterhood because she is successful and independent. “I consider marriage to be in the hands of God — if it’s meant to happen, it will. As long as I am successful at home with my family and in the workplace with my career, I don’t think I need to get married,” she said.

Fatima argued that there are many successful and pioneering Saudi women who have made great achievements while remaining unmarried. “Marriage can end up becoming an obstacle in the way of many aspirations,” she said.

Samaher Ahmed, a 29-year-old employee of a private company in Jeddah, said she prefers to stay single because Saudi women are often under the shadow of their husbands.

“Many young Saudi women are now looking to get educated and pursue successful careers. This is, however, a double-edged sword. To get an education and have a good job you need to make compromises and this can jeopardize your chances of getting married,” she said.

Samaher, who was once engaged, said her former fiancé told her to choose between him and her career. “He wanted me to stay at home, cook and clean. I wouldn’t mind that, but he was at the same time very controlling and demanding,” she said.

Samaher feels marriage is important, but says men do not have the qualities of making marriages enjoyable. “Many of my friends are miserable. When we talk to them about their problems they tell us horrible things. They talk about how their husbands cheat, drink, go on trips abroad with their friends and indulge in objectionable activities,” she added.

Another question that needs to be answered is whether being educated and independent drives away prospective husbands.  According to Samira Al-Hamad, a successful 30-year-old banker, some men are simply selfish.

“I hit 30 a few months ago and still haven’t met Mr. Right. Men my age want young wives who are totally oblivious of time and sometimes even ignorant. I think such men are scared of educated women who have strong personalities,” she said.

Maha Taher, a 25-year-old from Riyadh, is the founder of a matchmaking website (www.na9eeb.com). She said that spinsterhood is an awkward phenomenon that has recently spread throughout the Kingdom at a very alarming rate. “It’s somehow difficult for a young woman to receive suitors after a certain age, such as 35,” she said.

She added that some women do not get married because their outlook of what a marriage should be is very utopian and they themselves are very demanding, and before they realize it they’re old.

“Some men have difficulties marrying professional women who are highly qualified ... these men have problems dealing with women who are more intelligent than them,” she added.

She also said the current costs of marriage and living in the Kingdom are very high and not in proportion to what the average man earns. “It’s difficult for youths to marry because they cannot afford it. This is even the case with university graduates who may make SR6,000 to SR8,000 — this isn’t enough to sustain a family. If you add rent, car maintenance, food, clothing, children’s expenses, medicine and stuff like that then you see where the problem lies,” said Maha.

“I am personally encouraging people to help each other; that is the main purpose of www.na9eeb.com. The aim is to facilitate the process for people from the same background to get married by showing them the right choices,” she added.