It is part of tradition for Saudi families to gift large amounts of money to relatives making preparations for weddings. They fear ignoring this responsibility would tarnish family reputation.

The amount of money given usually depends on the family’s relationship with the person getting married, but can range from SR500 to SR20,000.

It is no surprise that families find themselves in deep financial trouble if they had to attend four weddings in one year. Some are forced to cancel their vacation plans or cut down on simple luxuries just to save enough money.

Many Saudi families, even the poor ones, interviewed said they often give away large amounts of money for such occasions.

Mohammad Al-Ansari, who works at the airport, was planning to travel to Malaysia this summer. He was forced to cancel his trip because of his sister’s wedding.

“The trip was going to cost us between SR7,000 and SR11,000. Everything was going well, especially as I was saving SR1,000 from my salary every month,” he said.

“Six months ago, my sister got engaged and her wedding party was planned for the middle of July. As a brother, I am obliged to attend her wedding and gift at least SR5,000.”

Mohammed Al-Hamzawi, a teacher, complained about the amount of money that he had to spend on his relatives’ marriages.

“We give away almost everything we save during the year. This summer two of my brothers will get married and I have to give SR10,000 to each,” he said.

“It is my duty to help my brothers on such occasions. But the problem is that my wife will give birth at the end of the summer. She wants to give birth in a private hospital, but I cannot afford to do that now. “Many wedding parties will be held in the upcoming month. We will spend our savings fulfilling social obligations, while Ramadan is approaching.”

Fawkia Al-Kesaibri is a housewife and mother of six living in south Jeddah. She is unemployed and lives on social security benefits. Despite her low income, she is obliged to give wedding gifts.

“Attending wedding parties is considered important in our family. My husband’s family is big and we always have wedding parties in summer,” she said.

“On each occasion I am forced to spare SR500. Sometimes I borrow money to cope.”

Some families refuse to accept gifts at weddings, saying it is a burden on friends and relatives. Others think of it as a loan that needs to be paid back when the benefactors have a wedding party themselves. “Giving money is not a must. It is an old tradition that in my opinion only people in sound financial position need to follow,” said businessman Abdullah Al-Zahrani. “Families in difficult situations should not be obligated to contribute.”

Many people try to buck tradition by writing on their wedding invitation cards that they will not accept gifts. Al-Zahrani said he had written this on his wedding card.

“When my sister got married three months ago I gave her SR18,000, not because of tradition but because I love her,” he added. “Personally, I do not give money to friends or relatives during such events, but I still know who gave me cash at my wedding so I can pay them back when they have their receptions.”

Dr. Mansour bin Askar, a sociology professor at King Saud University in Riyadh, criticized the tradition and called on Saudi families to be realistic. “Each family wants to appear as the most prestigious. This mentality pushes them to present expensive gifts in order to show off,” he said.