Q: Why do Saudi women live longer than men?
A: Because they never queue at government departments. Being a woman, I don’t know why we keep demanding that Saudi women be given that right.
Q: When do Saudi youth realize that time is precious?
A: While sitting behind the steering wheel. I don’t know why we blame the traffic police.
Q: What is the speed of light?
A: The time it takes for the traffic light to change from red to green and the idiot behind you to start honking. This is a warning that if you do not move at once, his car may literally jump over yours.
Q: What does the expression trade deficit mean?
A: A cellular phone in the hands of a Saudi woman. (Be fair — men spend a lot of time talking on phones too.)
Q: What is inflation?
A: Going shopping where the salesman is Lebanese.
Q: What is meant by putting the right person in the right place?
A: Naming a manager, any manager, as the head of any Ministry of Health department. After all, pizza delivery vans are known to arrive much faster than ambulances.
Q: What is the difference between First World and Third World countries?
A: In First World countries they elect businessmen to be heads of state and government ministers while in Third World countries, businessmen are made from heads of state and ministers.
***
IN order to protect our identity, we have to understand ourselves and in order to succeed, we have to develop a personality distinct from others. The key to success in any area lies in being able to offer something special to impress others. Many newspapers, magazines and television stations have succeeded because they were able to develop their own identity. And speaking of our television, we find that it continues to be a riddle for viewers. While some praise it, giving it high marks, others do the opposite. Some want it to be like Lebanese television while others want to Egyptianize it. Some others want it to be like the BBC or CNN.
Recently, one of Saudi television’s female broadcasters spoke of plans by Channel One to extend its broadcasting to include North and South America. Presently, the coverage includes the Arab world as well as Europe, most of Asia and Australia. This may not be of interest to some viewers but it is of great importance to those who would like to watch live coverage of the five prayers from the Grand Mosque in Makkah and who want to enjoy Islamic programs including recitations of the Holy Qu’ran, Hadeeth and Haj coverage. Imagine the joy and happiness felt by a Muslim living in a remote place when he or she is able to watch a satellite channel raising the banner of Islam.
When I heard the news read by the broadcaster, I thought it would make headlines in local newspapers the next day — but to my dismay, nothing was written. Not a single newspaper carried the news, not even in the inside pages. Instead there was news about Arab and Western singers, movies, television programs offering millions of riyals as prizes and announcements on what type of open debates would be aired in the next few days. The question is: How do you develop a unique character?