So, it did not get done today either? Almost every day of my adult life has started with a to-do list. Items were listed, prioritized, and written according to maximum productivity schedule. Everything had to be done and accounted for, from bathing to changing dentist appointments. There were daily lists, weekly lists, holiday lists — I planned months in advance the work that has to be done in the holidays — and yearly goals — improve posture, eat fewer sweets, be nicer to mother, pray on time. I had a thick little notebook of lists (always bought four at a time so that I never ran out) which went everywhere with me. All this disappeared the day I had my second child. Half my brain popped out right after my daughter was born. Something they don’t tell you about in the books about pregnancy.
I forgot where I had put my lists and if I found them I could not then find my glasses in the morning — which since the age of nine, the year I got my first pair, have always been on my bedside table. Suddenly, I could not get organized and everything became chaotic. I started being angry with my six-year-old daughter when she was taking too long with her homework. I was giving the wrong lectures to my college students. I fought with my husband for not pulling his weight around the house. I was a mess, plain and simple. Something had to be done.
I learned to enjoy the mess and in the process learned that all my planning wasted more time. Why? Because I kept digging up things to do and then did them as soon as they needed to be done. A torn skirt, take it to the seamstress Tuesday between the hairdresser and library. When I lost my lists, things accumulated.
Then instead of going to the laundry twice a week, I went once a month. If I ran out of ground beef for chili, I made lemon chicken instead. I not only saved six extra car trips — not to mention the haggling with the laundry cleaner over how many ensembles I had and how many separates — but I also learned to be more flexible.
Better late than never became my motto, even at work. There is no use in doing things on time or even planning to do them. So, I did not even think about it.
Don’t worry and procrastinate as much as you can and you will discover that either these tasks did not need to be done in the first place — most cases — or that whoever gave you that order forgot about it — not really important in the first place. I eliminated a lot of paper work that way and missed some unproductive and boring meetings that were unnecessary in the first place. And I found out that a phone call could solve more problems than face-to-face meetings where my co-workers would argue over the most inane details. My job satisfaction level soared while my stress level decreased. I did get my act together after a while, once I was a fully functioning human being again. But, instead of following my old method, as it was not working for me anymore, I changed it.
Before, I would write what had to be done for my different classes in different colored notebooks that were now usually forgotten on my desk; instead I marked the work that had to be done in the book. So, the day before class, I just had to open the book, look up the work and do it. Instead of lugging around mountains of exam and quiz papers, I started doing creative projects in class like performing plays, instead of just quizzing girls on the material read. So in the end I covered my material, taught the girls, and both they and I enjoyed it.
In the rare instance when I had a plate full of things to do that had been delayed as much as possible and then some, I learned to devote one day to getting them done, in order of geographical distance — must be somewhat organized, you know. That way if I missed anything on the way to the farthest place on my list, I could always do it as I was coming back. The trick is to do them all even if it kills you so start your day early and be there a few minutes before the shop opens — most likely you will be the only customer so you will be served first.
If you have to be organized, pick the same day each month to get your chores done. Like the third Thursday each month. That way whey you buy something that you might need to return, ask the clerk, very pleasantly, if it is OK to return it on a certain day. More likely than not, the answer will be yes. That way, you can return the clothes your kid did not like because it made her look too cute for words — the reason you liked it — the tie that did not match anything your husband had and was really too expensive, and your too-ugly-when-I-got-home necklace all on the same day. It will not only save you time and gas, but fewer opportunities to check that store, in case there is something there that you or your husband or your daughter or your friend or your relative might need.
My new philosophy has become: It is better to be rushed one day a month, than worry every single day about what needs to be done and whether it will get done or not. Worrying just increased my anxiety and put me in a bad temper which my kids and the maid bore the brunt of. So my advice — forget about it, spend your time enjoying your kids. Relax, you deserve it.
As for me, well, as you can tell, it is my get-everything-done day and I’d better confirm my airline reservation before it is canceled again.