A young woman from Amman writes:

“I am a university graduate from a rich family. I am young and very religious. Currently I am working in my uncle’s firm and I have met a young man there who was very helpful to me in my work. I grew very fond of him and then one day, in all seriousness, he proposed to me.

“The news fell like a bomb into my family; the reason of course was that he is very poor. My mother flew into a rage, unable to visualize a penniless and unimportant man becoming her son-in-law and his poor relatives attending our grand family occasions.

“My father, however, is a reasonable man. He said: ‘His present financial status doesn’t make him eligible to be your husband. However, we can wait until he earns some money.’”

The young woman continues: “Now, sir, tell me why money is so important in our life, more important than mutual love and affection? Is it the only key to marital happiness and mental peace? Don’t mutual understanding and harmony accompanied by love and affection matter in a successful married life? Or is there some substance to the old saying, ‘When poverty comes in the door, love goes out the window’?

“In my view it is wrong and unfair to give so much importance to money. I am ready to give up my present luxuries in exchange for a happy life with the person chosen by my heart and reason. I am aware, of course, that such a life will be hard but with hard work and patience and, above all, the blessings of Allah, all difficulties will be overcome. Please advise me.”

This is one of the oldest questions that has ever puzzled humanity. Frankly, I don’t believe there is a definite and final answer to the question. Money is important. Love is also important. Which one is more important?

Practical experience, however, emphasizes the importance of wealth over love since love cannot long endure poverty. Love may keep relations warm for months or even years as long as other basic requirements are met. On the contrary when poverty rears its ugly head, love will flee. Most girls at your age, particularly if they are well off, will feel the need of love more. However, as years pass and the number of your children increase, you will find that money is essential and that you cannot really do without it. A man can sleep without love but can he sleep if he is hungry? Your father is a wise man and his advice is probably the best in the situation. Let your man earn enough money to solve the problem though it will be a little hard for you both to wait.

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LESLIE Field has been divorced for years. She discovered that all women’s magazines were devoted to wives, discussing how to find a husband and then how to keep him. She believed that divorced women had a right to their own magazine, particularly in her country, England, with over 28,000 women getting a divorce in 1999 alone. She reasoned that a magazine for divorced women would sell at least 200,000 copies — an encouraging figure for a beginner. So she looked for and found a publisher who agreed with her. The magazine was called “New Life.” The title suggested that married life is only a phase in a woman’s life and it can end at any time and that its end does not mean the end of the woman’s life. The magazine aims to make women discover that there are other phases in their life after divorce which can be more beautiful and richer.

The magazine’s appearance came at a time when the media was full of reports about famous divorced women. “New Life” was welcomed warmly by not only divorced women but by married ones as well. Every married woman is after all a potential divorcee. There is no guarantee that her married life will continue because men are increasingly tending to a bachelor’s life. Men want to avoid expenses, responsibilities and crises arising from family life.

I like the idea of editing a magazine for divorced Arab women. If only I could find a brave publisher. Since I have plenty of experience as the editor in chief of a magazine for married women, I wouldn’t object to being the editor in chief of a magazine for divorced women.