MOST businesses, in this part of the world more than in any other, suffer from a lack of after-sales service. The main objective is to sell something, whether a product, service or idea. Once the customer is hooked, by whatever new gimmick is making the rounds, then he is sunk — because if any problem arises, he will be hard-pressed to find anyone to whom a complaint can be directed. The salesman’s job is done and the money has been pocketed.
The advertisement in the newspaper looks tempting enough, the wide variety of channels available, all the latest programs and movies. Just contact us, they said, and this world of entertainment will be within your reach. Oh and we’ll throw in a decoder for free. Perfect — or so we thought. Already having bought a decoder a few months ago, we go along to the company’s offices to buy the access card. After much zigzagging around the town, we finally arrive at a dilapidated private residence, called the company headquarters. A short negotiation and a six-month contract is duly signed, fully detailing the channels we subscribe to and the type of decoder. We received our access card and as an added bonus, a copy of next month’s program guide. Isn’t this splendid? A program guide that comes out in time and not during the middle of the relevant month! It just seemed to get better and better.
We take this paraphernalia home and insert the card as instructed. Lo and behold, we now have near a hundred channels (and nothing on) that my husband can happily flick through at the speed of one channel per second. Curious to see what movies are coming up in the next month, I reach for the glossy guide with its mix of channel guide and entertaining news concerning the movie world, only to find out — to my utter amazement and on the very first page, an announcement of the introduction of a new system for channel subscriptions, effective the first of the following month. I honestly could not believe that we have just paid SR1,600 for a service that was about to change in a mere two days and the salesman had said not a single word to us about this.
Two days later we found out that the change in channel subscription wasn’t purely cosmetic. There would also be a change in the channels we would be able to receive, irrespective of the channels we had chosen to subscribe to. Instead of the promised 30+ channels we were now down to around a dozen or less (depending on your view of useful channels such as one called Civilization, which we never asked for). Then it began: “Dear Mr. X — we have a new bouquet of channels and since you are a valued customer we offer you...” bla bla bla, ad nauseam. For the next six months we were begged to come and sign up for the new bouquet. The salesman at the other end each time received a hammering regarding their poor service. But they were insistent — I guess salesmen are made of skin thicker than the hide of an elephant.
Finally, the six months are up and every single channel disappears. Debating whether we should go back, I finally convinced my husband that we couldn’t survive without the multitude of channels to flick through and off we went. After an extensive round of negotiations (tenser than the Middle East summits) we receive the biggest bouquet of channels for a good discount. We plug the card in and nothing happens. “Ah yes sir, you have to wait 48 hours.” So we wait — 48, 72 hours, one, then two weeks and still nothing happens. Our frustration mounts and again we make the dreaded trip. “Sorry sir, there is something wrong with your card. We’ll fix it — but we are not responsible if it doesn’t work in your particular decoder,” comes the warning. We try the card again and still the channels don’t appear. What is the solution? “Sir, you must buy our Eurobox, it is the only one that will work.”
What alternatives are there? We looked around and found out that their competitor can be just as bad and that for some reason, after about 8 p.m., all channels emit the same message “No signal.” The first few times we jokingly theorized that perhaps some aliens were redirecting the transmission toward their own planets so that we could provide them with some entertainment. Until now, no one has provided a better explanation.
So there you have it, with no viable alternative, I guess we’ll just have to grit our teeth and bear it. I have a feeling that our dentist will be very happy when we see him next.