THERE is a saying — "behind every great man there is a great woman" — but in recent years it has become evident that behind many successful women are supportive men. The cases of three working Saudi women we interviewed shows how important the encouragement of their husbands has been in enhancing their careers and lifestyles.
Hanaa is an interior designer; she is married with a child. She says, "My husband has supported my career from day one. I got married the year I graduated from university. I didn’t mind sitting at home and getting used to being a housewife. I thought this was enough for me but my husband would have none of that.
"After I had my first child, he said I had to do something with my education, not really to earn money, because we were, Alhamdulillah, financially stable, but to do something for myself. I liked the idea and he helped me look for a job. I have been working for two years now and I am much happier than when we got married. My career has given me a sense of self and a goal. I look forward to returning home after a hard day’s work and spending time with my husband and daughter."
Hanna says that if she weren’t working, she would have been a bored housewife whose marriage would have been less happy than it now is. She feels that she would have been frustrated with not being able to do what was self satisfying. She had always had the ambition to be an interior designer but wanted her husband to encourage her with kind words and enthusiasm. "I think a lot of men do not realize what their approval means for their wives working. I am very lucky to have a husband who has approved and helped me in every way."
Samia is headmistress of a secondary school. "When we got married, I had been working as a teacher. My husband was not keen for me to work at first. He thought I should give up my job after our second child. He told me the best job was to stay home and look after the children. We discussed the matter many times and eventually he agreed for me to continue working."
Samia had to explain to her husband that working did not mean neglecting him and their children and that his encouragement was important to her. "We have been married for 14 years now and his outlook about my career has totally changed. He supports what I do and gives me advice on how to handle situations at work. It is great to hear him talk about how proud he is of what I have achieved. It has also had a very positive influence on our relationship."
Fatima is newly married and she talked about how her husband made sure that he looked for a job for her during their engagement. "I started working three months after I got married. This is my first job and I’m getting used to working. I work in a bank and I have my husband to thank, not only for helping me get the job, but for showing me his concern for my feeling of achievement."
Fatima feels that her sense of financial independence has made her more self-satisfied, although like Hanaa and Samia, her principal financial support comes from her husband.
The mistaken idea that a working woman necessarily neglects her duties as a wife and mother is still unfortunately common. It may be true in a few cases. Too many people simply reject the idea of a working wife and mother outright and some men are intimidated by the idea of a woman in the workplace. If she is also a successful woman, that only adds to their discomfort.
Here in the Kingdom, these ideas are changing. Men have shown that they can be very supportive, encouraging and sympathetic to the needs of their wives. Although this may not erase the stereotype of the unsupportive husband, it presents another reality — that of many men with a healthier attitude to work and family life.
In such cases the role of the husband is pivotal, just as the role of the wife is vital to a man’s confidence in his workplace. For men who support their wives’ wish to work, it is not the financial gain that is important but the gain in their wives’ well-being and self-esteem, which in turn reflects on their own and their families’ happiness.