When we study the Prophet’s Hadith in depth we realize that sometimes the Prophet does not give a straightforward answer to a question put to him. He might choose to highlight in his answer some area which is better suited to the occasion or to some factor of importance for the person putting the question to him. This shows that the Prophet was always aware of the needs not only of his community but also of the needs of his individual companions and their general situations. In this he was a model leader who never underrated any one of his companions. To him, even the least privileged among them was as important as anyone else. He took care of everyone and tried to help each with whatever he or she needed.
Abu Hurayrah reports: "A man came to the Prophet and asked him: ‘Messenger of God, which charity is rewarded best?’ The Prophet replied, ‘Well, by your father I will give you a full answer: to give away money in charity when you are in good health, holding on to what you have, fearing to become poor and hoping to achieve riches. Do not wait until your soul reaches your throat and then say: I leave so much to this person and so much to that, while the other has such and such’." (Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad and others)
The question the man put to the Prophet sought information about which type of charity would earn best reward. He might have expected an answer outlining the best purposes for which charity may be given, such as helping those who are very poor or donating to a campaign of jihad when a Muslim state is attacked, or looking after orphans. But the Prophet did not mention any purpose whatsoever. He spoke about situations.
What we understand from the Hadith is that the charity which earns the best reward is the one for which one has to overcome all sorts of restraining factors. A person who is enjoying good health and is still in the prime of life is always thinking of the future. He has great ambitions, any of which requires money to fulfill. Besides, with young age and ambition there is always the fear that things might not go so well, and one lands in poverty. At the same time one entertains hopes of becoming rich. Needless to say, anyone who hopes to be rich is careful about his money, holding to it, feeling that with proper usage, one will be able to get more and set oneself on the road to affluence.
It is at such times of high hopes and corresponding fears, when one is healthy and feels that life stretches far in front of him that charity is hard. Hence, it is precisely at this time that charity gives the highest reward.
The Prophet gives the opposite situation of one who is on his deathbed, realizing that he has only very little time left. He knows that no amount of wealth will make any difference. He cannot buy additional time in life. No matter what his ambitions were, he has had his time and now it is time for departure.
No riches are of use. Hence, he can easily afford to give here and there. Charity at this time when one is practically on one’s way out of this life is easy. It does not have to resist any force pulling in the opposite direction. Needless to say, charity in the first situation deserves a much higher reward from God than in the second situation, even though the latter may be much greater in amount.
Perhaps it should be explained that the Prophet’s statement about the man on his bed giving away sums here and there refers to making bequests which are given after his death. As such, they do not affect what he has in life. But there is also a subtle reference in that statement. The first two sums are bequests by will, while the third one is an inheritance that is determined by God in the elaborate Islamic system of inheritance.
We should also explain that the opening of the Prophet’s statement says: "Well, by your father." This is not an oath, because in Islam it is forbidden to swear by anyone other than God. It is merely a commonly used phrase which is not intended as an oath and never understood as such. What is forbidden is an intended oath by anyone other than God. Here no such intention is made. Hence, it is permissible to say such a phrase.
Another Hadith takes up a different point, highlighting an important issue. The Prophet advises us on how to behave when we need others to give us something. It quotes Abdullah ibn Masood who reports: "When any of you requests something, let him do so gently, because he will only get what has been determined to come his way. None of you should come to his fellow man and start praising him and thus break his back." (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)
Everyone of us goes through situations where he could do with some help, service, kindness or advice from someone else. When you are in need of someone else, the Prophet’s advice is not to request it with much persistence. If it is denied, then one should try to do without it. It is not good that one makes his request with very strong emphasis so as to embarrass the person from whom he is requesting his need or to force him into giving it against his own wishes. It is always better to make one’s request gently, without persistence, so that people either respond with kindness or excuse themselves without embarrassment.
Moreover, the Prophet advises us against heaping praise on the one from whom we request something. Some people resort to this, speaking very highly about the person concerned, seeking to ensure that their request is granted. The Prophet calls this "breaking his back". Indeed, such praise could easily be a mark of hypocrisy. If the other person listens to his own praise, he is encouraging such hypocrisy. If he grants the request put to him after such praise, his motive may not be pure. He may, as a result of such heaped praise, give that person an unfair advantage. If he does so, he works to his own disadvantage, and the Prophet describes this as breaking his back.
An alternative reading of this last statement suggests that the person making such praise breaks his own back. If the praise is undeserved, then he is a hypocrite. If it is deserved, then by stating it to his face he is using the praise to gain advantage with that person. If it is undeserved, it is open hypocrisy. A hypocrite shall not be successful. It is by hypocrisy that he breaks his own back.