The number of women in our country who have never married is alarmingly high. A situation where many women are unable to marry is common in large parts of the Arab world. It is a recognized problem and is widely discussed with diverse and conflicting views. None of these discussions or opinions have yet produced a practical solution to lessen the social implications of the problem.
The problem continues to strike the very foundations of society and it threatens very serious long term consequences.
Through this article, I want to let the public know of the deep sadness and sense of deprivation felt by me and many other unmarried women. Many have probably already had their last chance since they are beyond 35 and have waited a long time for the blessings and mercy of God to enable them to raise children of their own. No one of course can say if they will continue waiting or if they will eventually marry. Those experts and researchers who have written extensively about the problem cite different reasons and suggest various solutions. All of them, however, have failed to mention the most important cause of spinsterhood: social considerations. They simply lack the courage to tackle the problem head-on and admit that the real blame lies with a detestable social class system. In this system, a prominent family, of distinguished origin, which enjoys wealth and influence, will not allow its daughters to marry as they wish. Girls from such families are pressured to marry a cousin — even if he is corrupt and immoral — or someone who is from a family enjoying a similar economic and social position. If neither of these is available, the girl must live as I do — unmarried, a spinster, a so-called old maid.
What an injustice is being done to me and to my fellow women because of abhorrent pre-Islamic traditions! The Prophet Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of God be upon him) told us we should marry those whom we know to be good Muslims with good manners. The Prophet (may the peace and blessings of God be upon him) did not mention any social or tribal status as a condition for marriage.We live in a time in which we regularly encounter right masquerading as wrong and wrong masquerading as right. Despite this bleak picture, there is still a glimmer of hope that one day the situation will change. In the meantime, we must endure and thank God for the blessings he has bestowed upon us and for what He has chosen for us.
15 July 2002
