Q. A 13-year-old girl was taken by her parents to perform the Umrah. She did the tawaf and the rest of the Umrah while she was in her period, not realizing the magnitude of her error. She was too shy to mention the fact that she was in the period to her parents at the time. It is only recently that she realized the gravity of the situation, but it is many years since then and now she cannot even remember whether she started menstruation before or during her tawaf. What is she to do now? If she has to give compensation, who would have to pay for that: her father, or her husband?
S.M.
A. Of course this is a grave mistake, but it is not more than a mistake. The young girl was aware that she could not pray when she was in menstruation. That should have been a sufficient reason for her to ask her mother whether she could go ahead with her Umrah when she realized that she had her period. Had she done so, her mother would have either informed her or asked her father, and the girl would have been told what she could do. Anyway, the fact remains that the girl’s mistake was a genuine one. As such, she would be included in what the Prophet has said: “My community are pardoned for what they may do through genuine mistake, forgetfulness, and compulsion.”
All that she needs to do now is to seek God’s forgiveness for her error, and to learn from her mistake that her children should not find themselves in the same position in future. This she could ensure by helping her children to ask about every thing related to religion, without feeling ashamed of anything, particularly what is natural or normal.
The question about who pays for her error does not arise because there is no compensation to give. However, had she needed to give compensation for an omission, she would be the one to give it, not her father or her husband. Islam treats a woman in the same position of responsibility as a man. If she has no money to pay for her pilgrimage, this duty does not apply to her, even though her husband may be very rich. But if he pays for her pilgrimage, she may accept and God will, if He wills, give him a rich reward.
Joining a congregational prayer
Q. Could you please explain how to treat one’s prayer if one joins a congregational prayer that has already finished one or more rak’ah.
Abdul-Ghafoor
A. If you join a congregation in a prayer consisting of 4 rak’ahs when the congregation are in the third rak’ah, you may either treat your first rak’ah as the first or the third rak’ah. If you opt for the latter, you are counting your rak’ahs according to what the imam has completed. Therefore, when the imam finishes, you have to make up your first and second rak’ahs. On the other hand, if you treat the two rak’ahs you pray with the congregation as your first and second, you need to complete your prayer after the imam has finished by praying the third and fourth rak’ahs. Both ways are approved by different scholars, but the majority would prefer the second choice, which means that what you offer with the imam count as the beginning of your prayer and what you pray after the imam has finished is to complete the latter part of your prayer.
Why polygamy
Q. Islam is a very logical religion, but there are certain things that we accept without knowing the reason for which they are given. May I ask why men are allowed to marry four wives. I was told that this is because the number of women is greater as compared to the number of men. Is that so?
Zaynab
A. Where God or the Prophet states a reason for a particular ruling, then we are certain of the rationale behind that ruling. In such case, where the cause is not applicable, the ruling may not be applicable either. On the other hand, many rulings are given without any particular reason mentioned for them. In such a case, we may only assume the reason on the basis of our understanding. We say that what we come up with is a possible reason, without claiming it as a certainty.
Neither God nor the Prophet has told us the reason for permitting men to have up to four wives at the same time. Therefore we cannot attach this permission to any particular reason. We may say, however, that this ruling has certain benefits, providing solution to a number of social problems. Take for example the case of a woman who has some chronic illness which makes her unable to meet some of her marital duties. Her husband may not wish to divorce her, but he needs that fulfillment.
Allowing him a second wife serves the interests of both man and wife. A man may also dearly wish to have children, but his wife is incapable of giving him children. Do we insist that he divorces his wife in order to marry another woman who can bear him children, or allow him to retain his wife and marry a second one?
The reason you have been given is not a universal situation. It may happen in certain communities in different periods of time. If it does, polygamy is a good solution. If not, there is bound to be less polygamy in a society where men and women are equal in number, or where men are less than women.
Sex in marital relation
Q. In one of your answers, you expressed your view that anal sex between man and wife is forbidden. However, Verse 223 of Surah 2 seems to permit whatever a man and wife wish to do. May I suggest that your view contradicts this verse, unless you are relying on a Hadith which I do not know. Please comment.
M. Boodan
A. First of all, in matters of permissibility and prohibition, we do not express personal views. We only state what God has legislated. This is because the authority to prohibit anything belongs to God alone. He makes this clear to us, either through the Qur’an, His own word, or through the Prophet in authentic Hadith.
The verse to which the reader refers clearly indicates that sex is permitted only in the woman’s genital organ. The verse may be translated as follows: “Your wives are your tilth; go, then, to your tilth as you may desire, but prepare well for yourselves and fear God.” In his commentary on the Qur’an, Sayyid Qutb writes: “The use of the Arabic word harth, rendered here as ‘tilth’, with its connotations of tillage and production, is most fitting, in a context of fertility and procreation. Within this healthy, warm and conducive atmosphere, couples may seek each other’s comfort in any manner that will give them the greatest and most fulfilling pleasure. Sexual fulfillment must, therefore, be sought as part of an overall objective which serves to please God, and is beneficial to the individuals concerned.”
As you see, the emphasis in the Qur’anic expression, reflected in the commentary, is on procreation. True, sexual pleasure is acceptable as a fulfillment of a natural desire, but it is intertwined with the procreative aspect. Even when the verse refers to how we should approach sex, it speaks of tilth, which refers to procreation. Needless to say, anal sex does not fit in this context at all.
Besides, several Hadiths confirm this in very clear terms. A man came to the Prophet and asked him whether it was permissible to have sex with his wife from behind. The Prophet answered in the affirmative. As the man was on his way out, the Prophet called him back and said: “Consider what I have said: from behind, but in the front.” I suppose nothing could be clearer than this. In another Hadith, the Prophet mentions ten sinful actions that are tantamount to disbelief. One of these is “anal sexual intercourse with women.” I suppose no expression of prohibition could be stronger than describing an action as tantamount to disbelief.