"Would you change for a man?" A question I asked myself as I watched the all-time favorite, "Grease". In the film, Olivia Newton-John drastically changes her looks and attitude to win the heart of John Travolta and indeed she does well.

It happens sometimes that a man asks a woman to change some aspects of her behavior or some of her habits even though he might do so very indirectly. Of course, the way the request is made is very important and a really smart man will know exactly how to introduce the subject and make his request. Although some women may think that my remarks injure a woman’s ego and pride, keeping a stable relationship is surely an objective of most wives, particularly wise ones.

Dalal could not agree more. "I would not jeopardize my marriage by refusing to make changes which are no trouble to me. Being too quick, talking about anything at any time and even partying late are all things that I did in my past. When I discovered how my husband didn’t care for these things, I decided to change. It was not a big deal for me but the consequences were. He appreciated me even more than he had done before the changes."

At the same time, there are things that Dalal will not give up or change. "There are limits to the changes I am willing to make for my husband. For example, he once asked me to break off some friendships. Now I believe that I am perfectly capable of choosing my friends and I would not allow him to interfere with my choices. My feelings are essential parts of my personality and if I denied them, I would submerge my true nature."

Personality changes may, however, occur unintentionally. Arrej who has been married for almost 14 years notices quite a few of these. "The longer you live with a man, the more you adopt his habits, and vice versa. It happens so naturally over the years that you hardly notice it. For instance, I learned to keep up-to-date with my husband’s work; I want to be able to talk about it with him. Even though I was not initially very interested, I have learned about it and now enjoy discussing the subject with my husband — and he encourages me to do so. Doing this certainly does not eliminate my own interests and activities. It seems to me that if you love someone, you are willing to make him or her happy without being asked to do so."

Perhaps this ought to be seen as the key to all the changes a woman is willing to make for the sake of her husband. "If a woman is happy in her married life, she will do whatever it takes to keep it happy," said Fawzia. "Having been brought up in a conservative environment, I know that I must take what I want by force. After marriage, I noticed what a calm person I have become. My husband is a very understanding man and he has taught me to talk things over. If he wants me not to do something, he gives me his reasons first. Most of times, I find it very hard to refuse him and now I have adopted the same tactic myself."

But what if he asked you to change your looks? Changes do not only involve personality but also appearance. "As fashion comes and goes, my husband sometimes suggests a certain hair color or a style of dress. I keep his wishes in mind but in the end, it is up to me and what I feel is my own style," commented Dalal.

"It is perfectly all right with me," Fawzia added. "In fact, it is healthy to make some changes in your appearance from time to time to please your husband. It reflects the happiness you are enjoying and it changes your image from time to time."

Both opinions make sense so before you shout, "This is me whether he likes or not," take a few minutes and think about it. Modest changes will not lessen your fabulous self as long as you feel positive about them. You can, after all, accustom yourself to making a few compromises. They are a healthy way to maintain your relationship and most important of all, the sacrifices you make will always be valued by your partner.