During the parliamentary elections in Kuwait last week, Kuwaiti women proved that they will fight for their political rights.

That is why a group of Kuwaiti women put up their own mock ballot boxes to cast their votes.

What is interesting about this, and sad at the same time, is that women in the Gulf have not held a government post by winning in the elections of any parliament where they have been allowed to participate.

All of the women who have gained seats in a parliament did so by edict from an emir or king, as was the case in Oman, Qatar and Bahrain. Women make up no more than three percent of parliamentarians in the Gulf.

So what has prevented women in the Gulf from taking a larger role in these parliaments? Why is it that societies in the Gulf reject the idea of women members of parliament?

There is something unhealthy in the relationship between men and women in this part of the world. A large fissure runs through it. A woman in the Gulf is brought up not to trust a man, even if they work for the same company or his job requires that he drives her to work. On the other hand, a man will not respect a woman even if she is more qualified and experienced than he is and her job requires her to supervise his training. In other words, women look on men with suspicion, and men look down on women. That is the essence of the problem.

I wonder when these bad seeds were planted in our societies, and how we can yank out the roots.

The lifestyle in Gulf countries and the family structure can foster irresponsible relations between men and women. The media too has played its part in projecting a false image of what the relationship between men and women should be. That is why Gulf soap operas, which are followed by people from all walks of life, show images of men pulling women by the hair, abusing them, and projecting the image of men as domineering alpha males that are wicked, sly and brutal.

Men and women in the Gulf are in desperate need of a dialogue to bring them closer and build bridges of acceptance between them. Everyone is calling for conferences to promote dialogue, tolerance and understanding between civilizations, when men and women within our own culture, in our own homes, can’t even get along. We need institutions promoting reform in all Gulf countries, and particularly here in Saudi Arabia, that can bring men and women closer together.

Women in the Gulf today feel that they are under a tight curfew in a private war. Gulf men feel that their privilege and position are under threat, and that makes them jumpy and defensive, ready to go banging around whenever an issue is brought up that they fear could loosen their tight grip on things.

Candor and dialogue are needed between the sexes. Campaigns must improve the image of one sex in the eyes of the other, and there should be a budget to increase awareness through the media. There has also got to be a fundamental change in the things we teach in our homes. Isn’t it about time we turned over a new leaf and dedicated our lives to developing ourselves and our societies? Let us, both women and men, dream together of touching the moon.

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(Wajeha Al-Huwaider holds an MA in Reading Management from George Washington University. She is based in the Eastern Province.)