Q. Is it permissible for a woman to attend any kind of classes in her husband’s absence, leaving her young child with her mother at home? Is it also permissible for her to go to the market or to attend functions without her husband’s permission?
Siraj • Riyadh
A. It appears to me that these questions relate to disagreement at home between man and wife. The important thing in such situations is for the couple to sort out their affairs on the basis of mutual care and recognition of the needs of each one.
For example, if the husband tries to impose his will in an unreasonable way, making a list of unjustified restrictions, he only provokes his wife to rebel and breach his restrictions, resorting to various devices in order to conceal the breach. The result is that there comes to be a gulf between them which grows wider as the restrictions are increased and the breaches become more frequent.
If a man considers his wife’s needs and tries to meet them, as he is required to do, he will find that his authority at home is much more respected. The more love he shows to his wife, the better she responds. But when she feels that he just wants to dominate without reasonable justification, she feels her personality is compromised and tries to counter his authority.
If a woman needs to attend courses to improve her education, or to increase her knowledge, or only to have something that kills the boredom in her life at home, she is entitled to do so. The husband will find that his wife is better able to cope with her life as a result. If she leaves her young child in the care of her own mother, she does nothing wrong. No one looks after one’s children better than their mother except her own mother. Hence Islam gives her mother the second place in the line of the right of custody, in the case of divorce.
Arab News Islam 22 August 2003