Q.1. Please explain a woman’s obligations to her husband’s parents and other members of the family.
Q.2. Could you explain the meaning of the term fitnah and how does this apply in this life and on the Day of Judgment?
Abd Al-Ghafoor
A.1. We have to distinguish between what a person does as a duty, and what he does voluntarily, or to make things run smoothly. Duty is what a person is obliged to do, either by religion or law or by the dictate of a superior person. If we consider a wife’s duty from this angle, then it includes helping her husband to maintain his chastity by satisfying his sexual urge in the legitimate way. This is a mutual duty of man and wife. His duties toward her are more, because he has to look after her, providing her with reasonable means of living, in accordance with his circumstances. She must protect his home, admitting no one to whom he objects, and guarding his secrets. She is not duty-bound to do any housework or serve him or his relatives. She must look after her children and their upbringing in cooperation with her husband.
However, life does not run smoothly if we were to do only what we are bound to do as a duty. We must look beyond that in order to establish congenial and healthy relationships within the family and the community. Hence, the Prophet speaks of a wife’s being a goodly spouse, looking after her husband’s interests. He equates this with jihad. This means that a wife earns great reward when she looks after her home, ensuring a comfortable life for her husband and children.
Having said that, I realize that in some communities in the Muslim world, a wife is required to do much more than that. In fact she is treated as though she is a servant acquired by her husband’s family. Thus, even when her husband is away, working abroad, she is required to stay with his family, serving his parents and even his other relatives.
This is by no means a duty of hers. If she does it, people should be grateful to her. She is doing them a favor, which should be appreciated. Unfortunately, in many situations, she is made to feel that she is no more than a servant who is doing her duty. This leads to many problems. People must not forget that Islam makes women equal to men and they should be treated as such.
A.2. Fitnah carries several meanings, but the root meaning is ‘test, trial, temptation, etc.’ In this life, man may face different types of test, which could take the form of hardship, or affluence and plenty, or availability of pleasure and enjoyment. Resisting temptation to sin is the best way to avoid fitnah. On the Day of Judgment we are rewarded for our deeds. If we resist fitnah in this life, we earn reward in the hereafter.
Human Brotherhood and Marriage
Q. Since all human beings are the descendents of Adam and Eve, they are in effect brothers and sisters. How then can people get married to each other, having descended from the same parents?
S. Khan
A. God says in the Qur’an: “It is He who has created man out of water and gave him kindred out of blood and out of the marriage tie. Your Lord in infinite in His power.” (25: 54) This means that the marriage tie is part of God’s design for His human creation. This can only be done through marriage between human beings. Otherwise, if we were to say that since we have one couple from which we all descend, we couldn’t be married to one another, this would create a situation where we need to be married to other species. This is absurd.
God has made His creation such as to allow marriage between people who are not born to the same couple, or have one parent. He has also outlined certain relations with whom one cannot get married. The more distant a couple’s relation is, the better it is for their offspring. Hence, although cousins are allowed to marry, it is preferable to marry people who are not related to us.