During the boom years when money was jingling in peoples’ pockets, everyone was so busy running after material gains that they managed to forget some very basic social obligations. As a result family ties, which were always treated as sacred, grew much weaker.
With the end of the boom and the disappearance of many signs of an affluent society, some of the social relations that have lapsed began to surface once again. The old habits of exchanging visits and checking on neighbors and relatives began to flourish once again.
Still, it isn’t as it was in the old days. The visits are not as frequent as they once were. In most cases, people see each other only on ceremonial occasions — the death of a family member or friend, the marriage of a colleague or old friend. Even here, the occasion is usually limited to a closed circle and actual contact lasts for only a few minutes. Some show up to be seen to make an appearance and let the host know they care and have come to share moments of joy or sorrow while in fact they consider the whole affair a heavy burden.
Guests, whether mourners or well-wishers, can be seen slipping away through back doors only a few moments after showing up and mouthing the usual platitudes. It is as if they have been forced to come. In earlier days, people stayed much longer, sometimes for days, feeling it was their duty to offer whatever assistance they could.
With the complications of modern life, people are no longer willing to add other problems to those already plaguing them. Many shun public life, neglecting family and other social obligations. This is evident even during Ramadan, at Eid and on other religious occasions. This kind of behavior is completely inappropriate at such moments.
Instead of personal visits, modern technology has taken over, with people now using greeting cards, telephoning or sending a message on the mobile. The bad habit is not just confined to friends and distant relatives but has spread to include close family members who live in the same neighborhood. The result is a further weakening of family links and social ties among members of the Muslim community, and it is something that runs counter to Islamic teachings.
At the start of Ramadan, I received a number of greeting cards that also contained congratulations for Eid Al-Fitr and Eid Al-Adha. The first was 30 days away and the second does not occur until two months after the first. Some even included greetings for the new Hijiri year, which is still four months away. The people who sent those messages evidently wanted to kill as many birds as possible with one stone. Why take religious and social obligations so lightly and empty them of the warmth, compassion and solidarity normally and traditionally associated with them?
