Cousin Omar from the Eastern Province was in Jeddah recently for a brief visit. A permanent resident of Alkhobar on the Arabian Gulf, the charms of this city invariably leave him with distinct impressions. Here is his personal contribution to the column:

“Last week I was jolly. Why? Because I had just arrived in Jeddah, locally known as the bride of the Red Sea, visiting family members and friends. Jeddah, named after Eve, the first female of our race, is a cosmopolitan city that never goes to sleep and yet never seems to wake up either.

There are numerous things to see and do that are hard to quantify. But here are the 10 things I like least about Jeddah:

1. The Kamikaze drivers. Whether you get overtaken from the road shoulder or your blind side, or pushed off your lane at police checkpoints, or witness a banzai drop at roundabouts, or are subjected to ear-shattering honking for no reason (as if the vehicle is in mating season) or end up with ear muffs at traffic signals to protect your ears because the sound barrier is broken, it never changes. Traffic just seems to get progressively worse with each visit.

2. Youths wandering about aimlessly in shopping mall parking lots who sadly have the body structure of either a whale (thar she blows) or a matchstick.

3. Major roads with potholes that seem to be carpet-bombed with each passing rain. Roads full of waste from leaking septic tanks or a rising underground waste water table. Now that qualifies as WMD for the residents of this city.

4. The concept of time and punctuality lost somewhere in the fifth dimension.

5. The nerve-wracking 45 min drive between the north and south side of the city. By the time you arrive at your destination, you are somewhat jetlagged.

6. The people you run into at hotel buffets that let their obnoxious offspring scream in hallways, poke food at the buffet tables with their fingers and munch and crunch like rock crushers en route to their table.

7. Starry creatures and local Muppets in the markets with bar-coded infrared vision that inquisitively and with a hint of desperation want to know what are you buying, wearing, where you come from and what car you drive.

8. Weekends that start from Tuesday. And weekdays that begin on Sunday, because Saturday is the first day of the week and everybody is recovering from the long weekend.

9. Local parks and recreation centers which seem to be a myth or a legend.

10. And finally, Cousin Tariq, who is obviously too lazy to write his own piece and is making me come up with this one.”

A very happy and prosperous 2004 to you all.