Q. A man is suffering a sense of great loss after his wife’s death. Someone has told him that he knows a way that would enable him to talk face to face with his deceased wife. I have been trying to persuade him that this is wrong and unacceptable. But his sense of loss is such that he would do anything to be in contact again with his deceased wife. Please comment.

R. Mansoor

A. What we have to understand is that death is only a stage in a person’s life, leading to the life hereafter. It occurs when the spirit departs from the body holding it. It is the union of the body and spirit that gives us our present existence, subject always to God’s will. When the spirit departs from the body, this causes death.

The body is buried, while the spirit goes to its Lord. How, where and by what means? We know nothing of this. No one does. We only know what is stated in the Qur’an, and what is mentioned in authentic Hadiths. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar. In the Qur’an God says: “They ask you about the spirit. Say: ‘Knowledge of the spirit belongs to my Lord. You have been given but scanty knowledge.’” (17: 85)

This settles the matter completely. This person who claims ability to contact the dead is actually saying that he has been given certain knowledge which can only be imparted by God. Since knowledge of the spirit belongs only to God, the only way to learn it is through revelation or inspiration. So this person is claiming to receive that from God. Such a claim is akin to claiming prophethood. We know that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the last prophet God will ever send to mankind. To suggest that a later person receives such knowledge goes against the express statements of the Qur’an. It is well known that no revelation is vouchsafed to any human being after Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

Even though the person concerned does not claim prophethood, he still claims to have contact with a realm that is known to God alone. How does he do that? It is only through lying and exploiting other people’s sorrow. My advice to the man who is so sad at his wife’s death is to try to improve her status by offering the pilgrimage or the Umrah on her behalf, giving money to charity and reading the Qur’an and praying God to credit her with the reward of such actions. In this way, he feels that he is contacting her through God Himself. His sorrow will ease as he begins to feel that she is with God, and that her position is, God willing, better than the one she departed from in this life.

Punishment for Past Sins

Q. May I put to you the case of a man who after marriage discovers that his wife had been in a sinful sexual relation prior to their marriage. Should he divorce her, or bring the case to court for punishment, or forgive her and remain married to her?

A.A.

A. The second option of bringing the case to court should not be considered at all. To start with, Islam does not like punishments to be enforced. They are there as a deterrent, to prevent people from committing serious sinful actions. Islam prefers that when a person commits a sin, serious as it may be, that person should repent, resolve not to repeat the sin and seek God’s forgiveness. If he or she is sincere in repentance and resolve, then God will, if He so pleases, forgive them. Besides, if the man brings the case to court, he must produce four witnesses to testify to having seen the sin being committed, or his wife must stand in court and admit her guilt.

Thus, it is not up to him to decide on this option. If she trusts to God’s forgiveness after her repentance, he cannot compel her to do otherwise.

The question is thus reduced to whether he should divorce her or continue their marriage. This is a personal choice that he should make on the basis of what he knows of his wife. If he feels that she is sincere in her repentance and that she will be faithful, and that he can overlook her past, then it is better to keep her. If he does not trust that this will be the case, then he should consider divorce.