JEDDAH, 8 October 2004 — I was presented with the opportunity to be the guest speaker at a monthly social gathering attended by a group of Western expatriate women. Two years ago I would have felt comfortable naming the group and its members, and highlighting many of their charitable endeavors, that go directly, to benefit Saudi families. However, due to recent events giving rise to security concerns, it would perhaps be best that this group and others like it remain anonymous.
Forty-six women, most from countries whose citizens have been targeted in the spate of recent killings in Riyadh and Jeddah were at the breakfast meeting, including some who were friends and neighbors of Laurent Barbot, the French national killed here last week.
I met one of the organizers of the group by chance while conducting an interview at a residential compound almost two years ago. Since then, she has become like a third grandmother to me. Not a single day goes by without my receiving an e-mail or telephone call from her or her husband. “Drop by anytime, you know where we are,” are words I hear on a regular basis. I have been to their house several times to eat dinner cooked by her husband. My picture hangs on their wall along with those of their own family members. For my birthday and on another occasion, she has knitted me sweaters to wear when I travel abroad. Knowing them, without a doubt, has made my life richer.
Last week, someone murdered their neighbor. According to a woman whose husband worked with Barbot, the shooting was a random act targeting a Western expatriate. Barbot was, tragically, in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Every time I think of Barbot, I think of my friend’s husband and how this could have just as easily been him. Setting aside political differences that really play no part in the friendships I have developed with many other Western expatriates, my point in writing this is; like these two Western expatriate friends of mine have enriched my life, others like them have also contributed positively to the lives of other Saudis.
Unfortunately, because many are barricaded behind compound walls, or past security gates at work, very few Saudis outside their scope of employment, have the opportunity to interact with them. Yes, there are cultural and religious differences, but I have not known a group of people more keen to learn about our religion, our traditions and our way of life, than the expatriates that choose to live their lives here.
My friend and her husband have been in Saudi Arabia collectively for over 20 years. Another woman, has been here on and off for 28 years, and another has been here since 1974, their husbands even longer. Sitting with them and learning about what my country was like during the 70s, 80s, and 90s from their perspective, is nothing short of fascinating. When one takes the time to understand what it is that they do here, and how they have contributed to the development of Saudi Arabia and its people, one really appreciates their presence amongst us.
During the breakfast meeting, one woman said something to the other women that practically sent shivers down my spine. Thoughts of my friend flashed across my mind as she said, “Don’t think that because we are women, we won’t be targeted.”
But just as quickly as that shocking statement came out, the others were quick to say that Saudi Arabia is still a relatively safe place to live in comparison to other countries in the world. “I have lived in cities where more than 22 people are killed every week,” one woman said. “I still feel safe here.”
What I came to notice was, that the women that have been in Saudi Arabia for more than a decade, were the ones that defended the Saudi people. It was they that truly understood our culture and knew that these disgusting acts of violence go against everything that Islam teaches. Those that have arrived within the past two years, were understandably more nervous.
Out of a total of 46 women present, only six expressed a true fear and desire to leave. However when they were all asked if they knew people that have left recently, every single hand went up. However, many expatriates that have made Saudi Arabia their home, have no intention of leaving. “In 1979, we used to live in the desert, now in comparison, we live in paradise. We didn’t leave then and we’re not going to leave now,” my friend’s husband told me.
“When we were building the pipeline, we used to navigate by the wrecks on the side of the road. ‘Travel down until you see the Mercedes on its side, then turn right at the second Caprice’ were normal directions. We used to have a big TV antenna and if we pointed it in the direction of Riyadh we could just barely get a signal,” my friend’s husband told me. “We used to get paid in cash back then.
“I remember when the first supermarket opened up in Dammam, the Bedouins would stand wide-eyed then enter the store with rifles slung over their shoulder,” he continued. “My most vivid memory from back then, was in the desert at 4 a.m. There was no habitation. The stars were unbelievable. Phenomenal, never seen anything like that before in my life or since,” he said.
What perhaps sums it all up is what my friend said in conclusion. “It’s a beautiful country and one of the saddest things is that we don’t go out anymore, but we’re here for as long as we are needed.”
