Q. Could you please discuss the Islamic view of adoption and how it is stated in the Qur’an.
Moid
A. Long before the Prophet (peace be upon him) began to receive any revelations, i.e. before prophethood, he adopted Zayd ibn Harithah who was a slave given to him by his wife, Khadeejah. The Prophet never owned a slave for any length of time. Therefore, he released Zayd from slavery and adopted him as his son. From that time onward, Zayd was known as Zayd ibn Muhammad. This continued to be the case until the opening of Surah 33, Al-Ahzab, was revealed stating the categorical prohibition of adoption. It states: “He (i.e. God) has not made your adopted sons your real sons. This is only a word you utter with your mouths while God says only the truth and guides to the right path. Call them after their real fathers; for that is fairer in God’s sight. If you do not know their real fathers, then they are your brethren in faith and servants. No blame shall be attached to you if you make a mistake, but (blame shall be attached) with regard to that which you do deliberately. God is all-knowing, wise.” (33: 4-5)
These verses make it clear that adoption, in the sense of taking a child into a family and making him a son or daughter of that family, is not permissible in Islam. Zayd reverted to his original name as Zayd ibn Harithah, and was no longer called Zayd ibn Muhammad.
The reason for this prohibition is the fact that claiming a child as one’s own through adoption is false, while Islam insists on truth. This is clear in the quoted verses that describe adoption in the sense mentioned as “a word you utter with your mouths.” A mere word does not make a child or an adult a member of a family. Therefore, adherence to the truth is essential: “God says only the truth and guides to the right path.”
Having said that, we should remember that Islam attaches great importance to looking after orphans and giving them a proper upbringing. Any family that looks after an orphan, or an abandoned child, will be richly rewarded by God. The same applies to the sponsoring of a child’s upbringing and education as organized these days by a number of Islamic charities in deprived areas. This is done through giving a regular contribution. The child remains with its family, but receives what ensures for it a good upbringing. This is a compassionate act for which God gives very rich rewards. The Prophet says: “I will be in heaven with an orphan’s carer like these two fingers.” This means that a person who brings up an orphan will have a rank in heaven very close to that of the Prophet. There can be no richer reward.
Long Birth-Spacing
Q. In reply to a question about restricting the number of one’s children, you mentioned that it is appropriate to leave a space of two or three years between the births of one’s children. How about longer spaces period, say, 9 or 10 years? What about a couple deciding to limit the number of their children to 2 or 3 only? Is this permissible?
M. Khurram
A. Birth control was not invented in the twentieth century. It has been an age-old problem, with people often wanting to limit their families to what they consider a manageable size. This is what lies behind research in this area, which has produced the results known today, making birth control measures highly effective. At the time of the Prophet, several of his companions asked him about the method they resorted to and he gave a consistent answer, showing that taking measures to prevent conception is permissible. However, he always pointed out to them that such measures could not stop pregnancy and childbirth if God wants a child to be born to a particular family. This remains true even of the most effective method of contraception.
Sometimes people approach this subject with a particular view in mind. One idea is that expressed by the reader who wants a birth spacing that extends for 10 years or longer. From the Islamic point of view, there is nothing to prohibit that. The question is whether it is right for the family.
In any family, siblings learn a great deal from one another. Most important, they learn sharing benefits and responsibilities, and asserting their rights. A younger brother or a sister learns how to stand up to an elder, stronger brother who wants them to be his subordinates. Elder brothers learn how to care for the younger and weaker children in the family. When children grow up together, they take it for granted that they share their parents’ love and care. A family with one child often finds the parents trying hard to teach that child such values that, inevitably, remain theoretical to an only child. When there is a gap of five years or more between children, they miss out on the sharing aspect of family life and each child grows up as an only child. Imagine two brothers with 10 years difference and no other brothers or sisters in between. By the time the younger brother starts school, the elder one is finishing it and preparing to go to university. Of course they continue to love each other and have a close relationship, but it will be a different relationship to that between brothers with an age gap of two or three years. Moreover, it is totally unwise for parents to perpetuate their childcare in this way.