JEDDAH, 13 September 2005 — Some women mourn the loss of decorum and respect accorded to the deceased at funerals, citing cell-phone ringing and chatty conversation are diminishing the solemnity of such events.
The women who recently attended a funeral in Jeddah expressed dismay about the inappropriate behavior exhibited by the group of mourners, which appeared more unconcerned and indifferent than either sad or grief-stricken.
The formalities of a Saudi funeral, such as having three days of mourning, separate rooms for men and women, the wearing of black and white, recitation of the Qur’an and a welcoming line of family members remain. What has changed is the attitude of many women attending funerals today.
To some, funerals seem more like a social event than a time for grieving over a soul who has passed away. One woman expressed shock after listening to a funereal gathering of idle gossip and inappropriate laughter. “Some women talked about the most useless stuff — things that really could have waited for another time,” she said.
She remembered one woman speaking in an extremely loud voice about a recent visit to Lebanon and a pop concert she attended. Others complain that funerals no longer are occasions for modest attire and are becoming more like fashion shows.
One 22-year-old woman spoke about women wearing flashy clothes, lavish jewelry and noticeable make-up at recent funerals. “Some women don’t even bother turning their cell phone off,” she said. “Loud ring tones could be heard across the room.”
It is as if the significance of the funeral has been forgotten. “What these women are doing is really disrespectful and inconsiderate,” said another woman. “The family of the deceased is in the same room as everyone else. They don’t need to see people dressed up, laughing and talking about irrelevant events.”
Arab News asked a number of women what they thought prompted this change. Many cited the fact that funerals are no longer confined to close family. People without any real connection to the deceased feel obligated to attend.
Some mentioned that such people feel little sorrow and no real sense of sympathy because they are so detached. As a result, they tend to act without care or demureness at a funeral.
“People have to realize that a funeral is not a time to socialize,” said another woman disgusted by bad behavior at funerals. “It’s a time to reflect on the person’s life and even on your own.”
