RIYADH, 21 October 2005 — A survey of 300 schoolchildren from three different government and private schools shows that parenting has been reduced to a part-time job for a majority of Saudis.

The survey, which covered both students and parents, discovered a deep gulf between children and their parents. Many were not even aware of the grade in which their child was studying, much less kept track of his academic performance.

Arab News conducted the survey in collaboration with Ibrahim Al-Bashir, student counselor at an intermediate school in Riyadh. Questionnaires distributed among the students sought to establish certain facts. They were: The role of parents in monitoring their children’s performance; the time that they spend with their family; the level of interest on the part of parents in their children’s upbringing and the relationship between students’ performance and the fathers’ educational level.

The findings were shocking. They revealed little or no interest by parents in grooming their children to be responsible citizens of tomorrow.

Not only were they unaware of their children’s track record at school, but they believed that their role was merely to provide for the creature comforts of their children by paying the school fees, sending them in chauffeur-driven cars and giving them generous pocket money without bothering to find out how it is spent.

One parent, Mohammed Al-Hazza said that he had no time to look after his children. “Their mother can take care of them if she is not busy with shopping and visiting friends. My maidservant is there to make sure that all their needs are provided for.”

Asked how he spends his time, Al-Hazza said he goes to cafes to smoke sheesha, chats and watches satellite TV programs in groups. The sessions usually last till midnight.

Most fathers, the survey found, believe that the mother is responsible for the child’s upbringing in line with the Arabic proverb, “mother is a school of learning. If the mother is educated well, she will lay a good foundation for the nation.” However, the mothers were found to play a passive role, allowing the child to develop without any supervision.

The survey showed that most of the children do not see their fathers more than twice or three times a week, fathers returning late and children leaving for school early.

The survey revealed that fathers spent no more than 30 percent of their time with their families. The rest of the time was divided between the company of friends or shopping and travel. As a result, they have no idea how their children spend their time or the company they move in.

According to Al-Bashir, the loose bond between the student and his parent could have serious implications. “It means that the child could watch any TV program or play any video game without the fear of being watched,” he said. “He could fall into any bad company, pick up harmful habits, and indulge in anti-social activities with impunity.”

The lack of parental knowledge led to young Saudis going to Afghanistan and Iraq, while telling parents at home that they were going to Makkah for Umrah. A classic case is that of Abdulrahman Al-Suwailimi whose 20-year-old son went to fight in Iraq while informing his father that he was going for Umrah. Similarly, Ahmed Al-Shaye lied to his father that he was going for Umrah when, in fact, he went out in his car on a bombing mission in Iraq.

The main problem according to teachers is that the fathers do not contact schools or attend the parent-teacher meetings to keep abreast of their children’s progress. With a generous allowance at their disposal and nothing useful to keep them occupied, they while away their time in unhealthy or, sometimes, dangerous pursuits involving the risk of falling into terrorist hands.

It’s a real wake-up call for Saudi parents.