I will never forget a maths quiz that I had given to my 4th Grade class when I first started teaching at a local school over 12 years ago. Several of the students had a weak grasp of concepts and the test was designed to try and help me fill in the gaps of their knowledge. When I handed back the graded papers to the students, one of the little girls burst into tears.
She hesitatingly approached my desk with the feeble plea, “Please can you give me an extra point?”
“For what?” I had asked.
“Please teacher. I can’t take this home!” she cried.
New to the system and yet familiar with the demanding and often pedantic parents who would squabble with staff over half and quarter marks, I decided to stand my ground.
“No. I am sorry. I can’t just give you something you don’t deserve. Next time study harder. I am sure you will do better.”
“But please teacher! Please teacher! Just one extra,” she implored.
I scanned her answer sheet and as I shooed her away from my desk she turned around one last time and tried again.
“Please?” she begged. “If you don’t give it to me I will be in trouble.”
I ignored her and carried on with what I was doing.
To my dismay and profound shame and regret, the next morning she arrived with a swollen jaw bruised black and blue. My guilt and remorse were insurmountable more so when she would not even look me in the eye when I asked her what had happened.
“I fell teacher,” she proffered plaintively. The furtive look in her eyes fixed firmly on the ground as she narrated her excuse and the manner in which she skulked around the classroom like a wounded animal spoke more of the untold horrors she had faced for one measly little mark than her carefully rehearsed sentence. My petition to the administration about how my student had been hit fell upon deaf ears. I was told that it was an accident and as the child’s parent was a teacher at the school I shouldn’t be interfering.
“It’s their business as to how they discipline their child,” I was told. Since when has physical violence against one’s children become the discipline of choice, I thought to myself.
Over a decade later I was reminded of this incident as I read about six-year-old Rahaf, that unfortunate little girl who was beaten and emotionally abused by her stepmother. The reason given by her father was that the little girl had wet her bed and so, according to him, the “punishment” meted out to her at the discretion of his wife had been wholly appropriate. My blood ran cold as I went over the account as to how she had been whipped, starved and then locked up, only to be identified much later as a victim of child abuse by the teachers at her school. All this because of bedwetting!
I felt nauseous as I stared impotently at the lacerations that scarred her bare back in the accompanying photo and pondered as to how even once they had healed, the emotional and psychological scars that she bore would never be erased. But what made me sick to the core of my being was the report that was to follow this account.
According to the police, as her father had not made a formal complaint and her wounds were expected to heal within 21 days, the case would be dropped! I had to re-read that paragraph a couple of times before the horrendous monstrous idiocy of such a law sank in. Instead of protecting the rights of the defenseless, it actually exonerates those who are responsible for their torture. If cleverly applied then such a statute lends itself to providing a permit to the architects of such heinous crimes to periodically batter their prey in three-week stints. This allows children to be beaten for a sufficient interlude and gives a grace period for their wounds to heal so that they can be kicked, smacked, burned and bruised all over again. Great system. Makes you wonder who it’s designed to protect? The victims or the perpetrators?
I have repeatedly been appalled at the number of times that I have seen parents publicly and unabashedly slap children across their faces with great force and little repercussion. Strange considering that the religion itself forbids this kind of castigation, as it is perceived as unnecessary and humiliating. The all-too-familiar adage of not talking to strangers has produced a misnomer considering that most of those responsible for committing such crimes against children are people whom they know. Indeed, it is usually safer for kids to turn to strangers when seeking help.
It’s about time that we woke up to the fact that just because we turn a blind eye to problems this does not mean that they do not exist. Child abuse may not be widely reported here, but this is largely because of the fact that it is a phenomenon that is still considered a taboo, frequently misunderstood and difficult to confront. There are many steps that need to be taken in order for us to afford our children the protection and rights that have been proscribed to them by God Himself.
Parents need to be re-educated as to more effective ways of disciplining their children without having to resort to such drastic measures. Children themselves should also be taught how to cry for help and be made aware of what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable behavior from those who take care of them. People on the frontline who can make the difference such as educators and health workers need specific training and education as to how to identify neglect and abuse whenever it presents. There need to be procedures and a framework in place that can tackle these issues in the most effectual manner possible so as not to cause additional suffering to the victims. I am sure that most of us are ignorant of the mechanism we should follow should a case of abuse be brought to our notice. This needs to be changed and we all need to be made more aware of reporting procedures.
Lastly, tougher laws need to be introduced as punishments themselves can act as deterrents. I for one fail to understand how it is that mocking someone’s facial hair can result in a sentence of hundreds of lashes and months of imprisonment whereas damaging a child irreparably and irreversibly doesn’t merit any form of chastisement. What kind of a message are we trying to convey? That burning, maiming and lashing out at children is fine as long as we can get rid of the evidence within a three-week period? Perhaps for us the observance of outward symbols is more important than the precious lives of these innocents? When as a society we find a comment about the length of someone’s beard a more punishable offense than the maltreatment of a child then we really have a lot to worry about.
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(Lubna Hussain is a Saudi writer. She is based in Riyadh.)