When women participate fully in the social life of the Muslim community, meeting men on an equal basis, they have the chance to attend to much that is good, adopt higher concerns and gain useful experience. We will gain a better insight into these areas when we speak about other issues such as pursuing education, doing useful work, and participation in jihad. By contrast, when women are kept away from society they will be deprived of all such experience and they will have only petty concerns. Even in the best conditions under such overall confinement, women would be denied better and more beneficial alternatives. For example, women who want to be educated will be denied access to a capable man teacher and forced to study under one of his women students. They cannot participate in an open discussion, but allowed only a limited scope for discussion. What we claim is that social mixing with men helps in the development of women’s characters. When a woman meets pious men, her own piety is nurtured; when she meets scholars, her knowledge grows; and meeting social and political activists increases her own social and political awareness.
No one denies that such character development is also achieved when women meet other women who are pious, scholars or socially and politically active. We all know, however, that in our Muslim societies, the highest positions in all these areas are monopolized by men. How, then, can we help women to develop their piety, increase their scholarship and awareness of their society? We are speaking here about women in general, not the privileged few who belong to families that are rich with such expertise. The only way is to allow women to participate with men in their best meeting places. What is important is to ensure that in such meeting places all concentrate on serious talk and fruitful action, in all areas of piety, scholarship and social and political activity.
During the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) lifetime, a measure of all this was ensured by women frequenting the Prophet’s Mosque in Madinah, which was the center from which Muslim men and women received their religious, cultural and social education. Therefore, when a woman goes out to attend a function where she can listen to the Qur’an or the Prophet’s directives, attend a lecture or a seminar, or to meet other Muslim women with whom she can cooperate in doing something useful, she will certainly be doing well. The greater measure in the first Muslim community was provided by the Prophet’s wives who benefited by their close association with the man who delivered God’s message to mankind, and who emanated knowledge to all people. At the same time, the Prophet’s wives were full participants in the life of the community and active within it. They were thus able to attain a high standard of knowledge. They became teachers from whom the most eminent figures among the Prophet’s companions and their successors learned much, in all disciplines of Hadith, Fiqh and the interpretation of the Qur’an.
Our scholars today should follow the Prophet’s example as he used to make sure of addressing them himself, not assigning the task to any of his noble companions. In his authentic Hadith anthology, Al-Bukhari makes a special reference to this point by quoting Ata’, one of the eminent scholars of the Tabi’een generation, i.e. the one immediately following the Prophet’s companions. Ata’ was asked whether scholars should go to address the assembled women when he had finished, as the Prophet used to do at the end of the Eid prayer. He answered: “This is an obligation they must fulfill. I wonder why they are not doing it.”
Our women also should follow the example set by the early Muslim women when they went to the Prophet asking him about whatever they needed to know. They did not leave the matter to their fathers or husbands. Indeed, many felt that they needed to ask the Prophet himself, rather than put their questions to his wives for answer. It is useful here to remember Subay’ah’s story when she asked the Prophet whether she could marry after a short period of becoming a widow and her subsequent delivery of her child. She was not sure of what Abu Al-Sanabil told her that she needed to wait the full term of widows, which is four months and ten days. Commenting on this story, Ibn Hajar says: “It shows Subay’ah’s intelligence and clarity of purpose as she was reluctant to accept Abu Al-Sanabil’s ruling. She felt that she must have a clear ruling by the Prophet himself.” Moreover, our women should follow in the footsteps of the Prophet’s wives, so as to help some of them to attain the highest degree of scholarship to become teachers of men and women alike.
It is useful to mention a couple of examples of women who attained a high standard of intellectual and social ability as a result of their participation in the social life of the Muslim community, mixing with God’s Messenger and his companions. Umm Sulaym was a woman whom the Prophet frequently visited. Anas ibn Malik, her son, reports: “When the Prophet passed close to Umm Sulaym’s place, he dropped at her place to greet her.” (Related by Al-Bukhari.) She also played hostess to the Prophet and a large number of his companions, when the Prophet dropped on her and said that they were all hungry. Anas reports: “The Prophet said to her: ‘Come on Umm Sulaym! Bring what you have.’ She brought the bread she had, and the Prophet instructed his companions to cut it into small pieces. She also brought what she had of butter and honey and mixed it... They all ate their fill although they were 70 or 80 men.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.) Furthermore, she used to go with the Prophet on his jihad expeditions. Anas reports: “When the Prophet went on an expedition, Umm Sulaym and some of the Ansar women went out with him, giving the soldiers water to drink and attending to the wounded.” (Related by Muslim.)
It is not surprising, then, that she should set a great example for a mother who had just had the distressing experience of losing her son. In order to lessen the effect on her husband, she broke the news to him in this way: ‘Abu Talhah! Should some people lend an article to their neighbors, then the borrowers are asked to return it, can they refuse?’ He said: ‘No. They cannot.’ She said to him: ‘Then accept the loss of your child.’ (Related by Muslim.) Imam Al-Nawawi, who wrote a commentary on Muslim’s anthology of authentic Hadiths, comments on how she broke the news to her husband: ‘Giving the example of a borrowed article shows her as a woman of broad knowledge and great faith.’ No wonder then that the Prophet once said: ‘I dreamt that I went into heaven and there I found Umm Sulaym, Abu Talhah’s wife.’ (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
The second example is that of Asma’ bint Umays, who traveled with the men companions of the Prophet on their emigration from Makkah, first to Abyssinia then to Madinah. After she settled in Madinah, she frequently met the Prophet and many of his companions. When her first husband, Jaafar ibn Abi Talib, died she continued to meet men after her second marriage to Abu Bakr. She nursed Abu Bakr in his illness and he was visited by a large number of people when she was with him all the time. Asma’ was a woman of high intelligence and courage. When Umar, who was held in awe by most men, teased her, she argued with him both in jest and seriously. It is no wonder that she was sought in marriage by the most noble among the Prophet’s companions, marrying first Jaafar, then Abu Bakr and finally Ali ibn Abi Talib. May God be pleased with them all.