We stated that social mixing between men and women in a Muslim community where the standards of Islamic propriety are observed could promote good social action, which nowadays we call social welfare. We cited two examples from the Sunnah and the practice of the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) companions. We find a very clear example in the Qur’an, as it relates the story of Moses when he arrived in Madyan after he left Egypt in his early adulthood. “When he arrived at the wells of Madyan, he found there a large group of people drawing water (for their herds and flocks), and at some distance from them he found two women who were keeping back their flock. He asked them: ‘What is the matter with you two?’ They said: ‘We cannot water (our animals) until the herdsmen drive home. Our father is a very old man.’ So he watered their flock for them, and then he withdrew into the shade and prayed: ‘My Lord! Truly am I in dire need of any good which You may send me.’” (28: 23-24) Let us reflect on Moses’ attitude. He is a stranger in the foreign town of Madyan. A stranger is normally cautious in his behavior, particularly when he approaches women from the town where he is a foreigner. However, he sees at some distance these “two women keeping back their flock,” while “a large group of people (were) drawing water” for their herds and flocks. He immediately feels that there could be a case where a man’s help could come handy. He does not hesitate to approach them. It is a strange situation that could involve some repercussions. He is a young man with undoubted strength, and they are two young women, but he is a stranger approaching them in the presence of a crowd of their townsfolk who were well aware of their situation and what they needed. Why would such a stranger address them in this way?
Here we find Moses motivated by his instinctive goodness. It does not matter whether help is needed by a man or a woman. He can provide such help, and so be it. It is the most natural thing in a society composed of men and women that they both should meet and exchange help and serve one another. Moses did not see any cause that should prevent him asking them: “What is the matter with you two?” Nor did the two young women find it embarrassing to talk to a stranger that was making his first appearance in their town. They succinctly stated their situation: “We cannot water (our animals) until the herdsmen drive home. Our father is a very old man.” They did not hesitate to accept his help, as it was properly offered.
Then we see the two women’s father sending one of them to call the stranger to come over and meet him. The man had helped his daughters and his conduct was without blemish, so the father needed to express his gratitude to him. The woman carried her father’s message, walking shyly, which indicated that she was an honorable woman of high morality, unlike women who have suspicious motives for meeting men. Many life situations dictate that men and women should meet and exchange help for good purposes. This was such a meeting, starting with help given to women who needed it and ending with an act of gratitude by the old father. It was a good meeting at every step.
All the examples we cited involve good actions where the goodness is tangible. There are numerous other examples of action involving moral goodness, such as honoring people of distinction, congratulating others on their good occasions, visiting those who are ill, offering sympathy in a stressful situation and condolences at the time of bereavement. All these are clearly encouraged by Islam. How can such noble feelings and sympathies be exchanged between men and women without their meeting together? Why should we deprive ourselves of such good feelings as if they were wrong, seeking to justify such restrictions by preventing temptation? Is it not enough to remind people that they must always remain God-fearing and warn them against yielding to temptation, allowing them at the same time to express their noble feelings? Another advantage of social mixing of Muslim men and women is to implement the duty of enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong and unjust. God says in the Qur’an: “The believers, men and women, are friends to one another: They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong; they attend to their prayers, and pay their zakah, and obey God and His Messenger. It is on these that God will have mercy. Surely, God is Almighty, Wise.” (9: 71)
This was indeed the standard practice of men and women in the early period of Islam. Anas ibn Malik reports: “The Prophet passed by a woman weeping close to a grave. He said to her: ‘Remain God-fearing and be patient in adversity.’” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.) Qays ibn Abi Hazim reports: “Abu Bakr visited a woman from the tribe of Ahmas called Zaynab bint Al-Muhajir, but he found her silent, refusing to speak. He asked about the reason for her silence. He was told that she set on her pilgrimage pledging to fulfill all duties of pilgrimage without speaking a word. He said to her: ‘Speak normally. This vow of yours is unlawful because such vows go back to the days of ignorance.’”
Umm Al-Darda’ and her husband were well known companions of the Prophet. We see her speaking to the caliph without hesitation, enjoining him to maintain the proper behavior Islam encourages. Zayd ibn Aslam reports that Abd Al-Malik ibn Marwan, the caliph, sent a gift to Umm Al-Darda’ consisting of some drapery and cushions. Sometime later, he woke up at night and called his servant. The servant might have been slow in his response, and Abd Al-Malik cursed him. In the morning, Umm Al-Darda’ said to the caliph: “I overheard you cursing your servant when he was slow in responding to your call. I heard my husband Abu Al-Darda’ quoting the Prophet’s statement: ‘Those who curse others shall not be accepted as intercessors or witnesses on the Day of Judgment.’” (Related by Muslim.)